[He'd always been right. Eren had never doubted that for very long.
(The universe is bigger and stranger than he could have ever imagined, and they are swallowed up in it. But he refuses to let any of them disappear.)]
FROM: jaeger.eren@cdc.org we've got our own world to fight for. we're going back there.
[All of them. For all they can't seem to hold onto Armin for more than a few days at a time. For all they have yet to make any progress at all against the CDC. For all people are convinced their contracts are going to claim their lives, that destroying the titans is impossible. For all they'd probably be better off giving up on their shitty titan-infested world and finding another to call home. He can't do that. They'll make it through this, and they'll wipe out the titans and see their own world for themselves.]
[It's terrible, but that's how the world is. Cruel and beautiful in different measures. He cannot abandon it, or humanity, which he holds too close to his heart. He can't save them or finally see the world outside the walls by running away from it.
He could say a lot about offering his heart up to humanity, to fulfilling his dreams, to taking vengeance against the titans. But first.]
FROM: jaeger.eren@cdc.org why wouldn't I want to go back
[He has no family waiting for him that the CDC did not snatch up with him or transfer away to some distant ship. No home left that was not taken and destroyed by the titans before the CDC had a chance to threaten it. An impossible enemy waiting and willing to wipe out everything he cares about.
(He isn't stupid. He knows why she might find it strange. And yet.)]
FROM: jaeger.eren@cdc.org I won't abandon humanity to the titans because it's easier to give up and run away
[ It sounds familiar, doesn't it? (What is it, exactly, with these stupid shounen idiots and their grand ideas about hope and determination that are both unbelievable—laughable, really—and incredible at the same time? Are they just so unbelievable that they become incredible?
Even Ino isn't immune—the answer is obvious in hindsight, of course. Anything else wouldn't suit him.) ]
FROM: yamanaka.ino@cdc.org
You know, you sound a lot like somebody I know from back home.
[Wow. Should he be offended by that, he hasn't decided. ("Idiot," he's gotten before, plenty of times. It's familiar enough to only make him hackle a little, reflexively. Tone is hard to tell through text.)]
[Let him get beat up if they could help it. Though.]
FROM: jaeger.eren@cdc.org he isn't weak. he didn't fight back because he called it stooping to their level
[But he'd never let them silence him, either, and that's a sort of conviction Eren could respect, even if Armin had refused to throw a well-deserved punch in his own defense.
Eren, on the other hand, had no problem stooping in Armin's defense. And Mikasa had followed to bail them out when he inevitably got in over his head in the process. (Naturally, they'd been twice as scared of her as they were of him, but don't expect him to admit that.)]
[More pride than you'd think. Armin never took help he didn't need, even from Eren or Mikasa.
That said, just what are you insinuating, Ino. There's a pause before he answers. (Not least because thinking too hard about his father still makes his temples pound and his gut clench and he doesn't know why.)]
FROM: jaeger.eren@cdc.org it was better than letting 'em get away with it
[That's a "yes." Far more frequently, before Mikasa came along. But he'll take a few bruises over an injustice any day. (In some ways, it's a bitter thing to talk about. It doesn't excuse the things they did, but he's aware that some of his neighborhood adversaries never made it out of Shiganshina. And that is also an injustice, a far greater one, and those responsible haven't paid for it.)]
[He won't abide bullies on any scale. Some are easier to bare his teeth at than others. Childhood adversaries, corrupt and lazy military. Maneating monsters and blackmailing cosmic demolition corporations.
He's a lot better at expressing that sort of thing than he is waxing nostalgic about growing up. It wasn't very exciting, really. Shingeki life is bleak and joyless, Ino, I'm sorry.]
FROM: jaeger.eren@cdc.org we had chores. messed around. Armin had his grandpa's books.
FROM: jaeger.eren@cdc.org you could have asked mikasa
[She's been friends with Mikasa a lot longer. It's not that he minds the nosiness—Ino strikes him as a good person, if occasionally a confusing one. He doesn't dislike her. It just that thinking about easier days and older times doesn't really mean much, in their current situation. They can't ever go back to that. Wishing they could is a waste of time they could spend figuring out what's going on right now.
So, in that vein, wondering about what's crawling out of the TV set seems like a pretty reasonable thing to do to him.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
(The universe is bigger and stranger than he could have ever imagined, and they are swallowed up in it. But he refuses to let any of them disappear.)]
FROM: jaeger.eren@cdc.org
we've got our own world to fight for. we're going back there.
[All of them. For all they can't seem to hold onto Armin for more than a few days at a time. For all they have yet to make any progress at all against the CDC. For all people are convinced their contracts are going to claim their lives, that destroying the titans is impossible. For all they'd probably be better off giving up on their shitty titan-infested world and finding another to call home. He can't do that. They'll make it through this, and they'll wipe out the titans and see their own world for themselves.]
no subject
You want to go home?
[ In spite of how terrible they all make it sound. (Jean especially.) It wouldn't surprise her, though, if Eren answered yes—he seems crazy enough. ]
no subject
He could say a lot about offering his heart up to humanity, to fulfilling his dreams, to taking vengeance against the titans. But first.]
FROM: jaeger.eren@cdc.org
don't you
no subject
FROM: yamanaka.ino@cdc.org
Yes.
More than anything else in the world.
no subject
FROM: jaeger.eren@cdc.org
why wouldn't I want to go back
[He has no family waiting for him that the CDC did not snatch up with him or transfer away to some distant ship. No home left that was not taken and destroyed by the titans before the CDC had a chance to threaten it. An impossible enemy waiting and willing to wipe out everything he cares about.
(He isn't stupid. He knows why she might find it strange. And yet.)]
FROM: jaeger.eren@cdc.org
I won't abandon humanity to the titans because it's easier to give up and run away
no subject
Even Ino isn't immune—the answer is obvious in hindsight, of course. Anything else wouldn't suit him.) ]
FROM: yamanaka.ino@cdc.org
You know, you sound a lot like somebody I know from back home.
FROM: yamanaka.ino@cdc.org
He's a pretty big idiot too.
no subject
FROM: jaeger.eren@cdc.org
what do you mean
no subject
What does it sound like?
FROM: yamanaka.ino@cdc.org
Don't tell me you let him keep getting beat up by bullies.
Armin, I mean.
FROM: yamanaka.ino@cdc.org
Between you and Mikasa, you must've had that covered.
no subject
of course we didn't
[Let him get beat up if they could help it. Though.]
FROM: jaeger.eren@cdc.org
he isn't weak. he didn't fight back because he called it stooping to their level
[But he'd never let them silence him, either, and that's a sort of conviction Eren could respect, even if Armin had refused to throw a well-deserved punch in his own defense.
Eren, on the other hand, had no problem stooping in Armin's defense. And Mikasa had followed to bail them out when he inevitably got in over his head in the process. (Naturally, they'd been twice as scared of her as they were of him, but don't expect him to admit that.)]
no subject
Stooping to their level, huh? [ Even Armin has some pride, apparently. ]
FROM: yamanaka.ino@cdc.org
Did your dad ever have to patch all 3 of you up too?
no subject
That said, just what are you insinuating, Ino. There's a pause before he answers. (Not least because thinking too hard about his father still makes his temples pound and his gut clench and he doesn't know why.)]
FROM: jaeger.eren@cdc.org
it was better than letting 'em get away with it
[That's a "yes." Far more frequently, before Mikasa came along. But he'll take a few bruises over an injustice any day. (In some ways, it's a bitter thing to talk about. It doesn't excuse the things they did, but he's aware that some of his neighborhood adversaries never made it out of Shiganshina. And that is also an injustice, a far greater one, and those responsible haven't paid for it.)]
no subject
FROM: yamanaka.ino@cdc.org
Hey, I'm definitely not blaming you or anything.
FROM: yamanaka.ino@cdc.org
So that's it? You guys would just hang around the fields and beat up bullies?
no subject
He's a lot better at expressing that sort of thing than he is waxing nostalgic about growing up. It wasn't very exciting, really. Shingeki life is bleak and joyless, Ino, I'm sorry.]
FROM: jaeger.eren@cdc.org
we had chores. messed around. Armin had his grandpa's books.
kid stuff. there wasn't a lot more to do
FROM: jaeger.eren@cdc.org
why
no subject
I don't know, can't a girl ask her friends about their lives?
FROM: yamanaka.ino@cdc.org
Besides, this is a whole lot more entertaining than wondering what's going to crawl out of the TV next.
FROM: yamanaka.ino@cdc.org
Mostly.
no subject
FROM: jaeger.eren@cdc.org
you could have asked mikasa
[She's been friends with Mikasa a lot longer. It's not that he minds the nosiness—Ino strikes him as a good person, if occasionally a confusing one. He doesn't dislike her. It just that thinking about easier days and older times doesn't really mean much, in their current situation. They can't ever go back to that. Wishing they could is a waste of time they could spend figuring out what's going on right now.
So, in that vein, wondering about what's crawling out of the TV set seems like a pretty reasonable thing to do to him.]
FROM: jaeger.eren@cdc.org
have there been more
[Things....crawling out of her TV...]
no subject
no subject
why are you doing this to me
no subject
i don't judge your lifestyle, ambi
no subject
I'm sad the game died just as they were becoming actual friends 8( weh
no subject
me too... ugh don't remind me.... they were turning into really cute friends in spite of... everything