[he feels awful he hadn't noticed sooner; only on doing a cuff-check and keeping eyes peeled for specific peoples did he find her laying prone in medical, silent and still and looking not near as strong as he knew she was.]
[a point of anxiety amid the rest.]
FROM: hinata.shouyou@cdc.org Like the others? No obvious reason?
[there hardly ever is. a reason for this, a reason for that, a reason for who or why or where. no point in asking, possibly no point in knowing, and it was scary and it was nerve-wrecking but it is tiring, and exhausting, and the ones left behind become more and more the focus. he isn't sure he likes that. comas, many returned from: Green, Tony Stark, Parker. the feeling of detachment arising on spotting them, on oh, it's too late, I'm sorry for your loss--- that wasn't comfortable. lack of sympathy became a growing concern.]
[as of yet, however, she wasn't lost to them. but if she was...]
[he wanted to know. her love - was it matched?]
FROM: hinata.shouyou@cdc.org You 2 have been together for years, right?
[It's scary. Frustrating. Because sickness is not an enemy he can defend her from. Transfer is not a monster he can bare his teeth against in any real meaningful way.]
FROM: jaeger.eren@cdc.org since we were kids
[Since her family was killed and she'd come to live with the Jaegers, a year before the wall fell. And they'd been parted very infrequently, since, for better or for worse. Eren and Mikasa are...complicated. Maybe the way he loves her is not quite the same, and the way he shows it is not nearly as clear, but there are things that you cannot live through and come out of without strong bonds. They'd hit that point long before Shiganshina fell. It is fierce, and it is important, even if it is not always pretty.]
[they were both incredibly blunt-minded people. rather, the three of them were blunt-minded people, for all they may or may not have worked at changing. it worsened in collaboration; at its absolute worst, when the need to know was all there was, it became:]
FROM: hinata.shouyou@cdc.org It sounds like she'd fight for you to her last breath. She loves you, I think.
[She would. Because she's a comrade, because she's family. Because she's Mikasa. and she's a pest and she's good at what she does, even when he doesn't ask it of her, or want it from her.
After something of a pause.]
FROM: jaeger.eren@cdc.org we'd be dead without each other
[It's not a romantic notion, or a dramatic one. It's just true, a thousand times over. But she's not a topic most people dare to broach to him, it's not something he's very good at handling gracefully, most of the time. They don't understand each other, they'd barely even be friends, in another life, but she's unconscious in medical right now and the loud absence is grating on his nerves. And it's entirely possible this conversation would have tipped more causally if she wasn't. He raps his knuckles restlessly against the keyboard before following that up with—]
FROM: hinata.shouyou@cdc.org No... Sorry, it's just about that.
[was it cruel timing? possibly. Eren's text answers so may questions he hadn't known he'd wanted to ask; as such, it followed one of the few things he had left to say (a few more to ask, but wasn't it cruel timing):]
She's really incredable. It's always a sad situation when a person doesn't return the same level of feelings, you know? I had to see if it was a situation like that.
[Mikasa's a prodigy, she's a skilled soldier. She's strong. He isn't entirely self aware of his relationships, but he knows that. He relies on it, resents it sometimes. He isn't surprised to hear that kind of observation from Hinata. The rest—
The world is cruel. If this were a face to face conversation, his body language would have closed up a while ago.]
FROM: hinata.shouyou@cdc.org She describes you like family, but I mean
[since we were kids and taken in weren't necessarily exclusive to varying relationship interpretations. besides, it was obvious the two weren't biologically related.]
[and.]
[again, timing was awful. but it just followed to ask, guy to guy,]
FROM: hinata.shouyou@cdc.org Have you two ever wanted to date?
[It's a strangely mundane question, one he definitely wasn't expecting. (Then, Hinata's like that, sometimes.) Dating means things like memories of Franz sneaking off to see Hannah while the rest of the barracks egged him on with hushed laughter and silly conspiratorial looks. He'd never spared much thought to that sort of thing, back home. Got impatient with them, too fiercely focused on achieving his goals.
(Too set on dedicating his heart to humanity. It's not really right to expect anyone (her) to compete with that. He doesn't want or expect her to try.)
So, honestly.]
FROM: jaeger.eren@cdc.org no
[That sort of thing isn't really in the cards for them, even if it was like that. (It isn't, not really. It's complicated.)]
FROM: jaeger.eren@cdc.org why do you care so much? you remember what we're here for don't you
[Hint: it has a whole lot to do with blackmail and genocide and planets getting blown up and very little to do with frivolous things like dating. Or, y'know, being happy or something.]
[oh no is this how the other normal boys in Eren's troop felt.]
[Eren please. as one protag to another: girls. c'mon. take a break from hitting up the angst pipe to appreciate the ladies in your life.]
[that said, the fact they were talking like this with Mikasa in a coma was a little weird. not gonna lie.]
[whatever, they were already balls deep.]
FROM: hinata.shouyou@cdc.org well yeah but we're not exactly moving anywhere right now!!
FROM: hinata.shouyou@cdc.org Are you positive you're into girls?? I really wouldn't care, honest
In fact I'm pretty sure Jean's into that so you two could... talk about it or
FROM: hinata.shouyou@cdc.org go out for coffee or
FROM: hinata.shouyou@cdc.org I don't know, did your world even have revenues for that stuff?? Like not just guy stuff but girl stuff too, was there anything good to look at?
[(Excuse him while he short circuits around the apparent earnest suggestion that he ask Jean Kirstein out on a date, why this.)
It's a little weird to be talking about while Mikasa is in a coma, and they've just come off the end of a mission, and his patience for it has long whittled down in the first place. So, with shorter temper than Hinata usually earns from him—]
FROM: jaeger.eren@cdc.org are you trying to piss me off
[Could he really, you're giving him a whole lot of credit, there.
But Hinata gets back to the point, and the point is something he's short tempered and aggravated over, but it's a nice thought, and he does actually get along with Hinata pretty well most of the time. So, after a little while to bleed out his irritation—]
FROM: jaeger.eren@cdc.org armin didn't wake up until they transferred him out
FROM: jaeger.eren@cdc.org I'm not letting that happen again
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
FROM: jaeger.eren@cdc.org
a few days
[He's actually pretty aggravated about it. Armin had been in stasis when they left Ajna, and then he'd disappeared off the crew.]
FROM: jaeger.eren@cdc.org
before the evac call went out
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[a point of anxiety amid the rest.]
FROM: hinata.shouyou@cdc.org
Like the others? No obvious reason?
no subject
FROM: jaeger.eren@cdc.org
no
[No clear reason. There hardly ever is, when people vanish to stasis, but he knows Mikasa's no pushover.]
no subject
[there hardly ever is. a reason for this, a reason for that, a reason for who or why or where. no point in asking, possibly no point in knowing, and it was scary and it was nerve-wrecking but it is tiring, and exhausting, and the ones left behind become more and more the focus. he isn't sure he likes that. comas, many returned from: Green, Tony Stark, Parker. the feeling of detachment arising on spotting them, on oh, it's too late, I'm sorry for your loss--- that wasn't comfortable. lack of sympathy became a growing concern.]
[as of yet, however, she wasn't lost to them. but if she was...]
[he wanted to know. her love - was it matched?]
FROM: hinata.shouyou@cdc.org
You 2 have been together for years, right?
no subject
FROM: jaeger.eren@cdc.org
since we were kids
[Since her family was killed and she'd come to live with the Jaegers, a year before the wall fell. And they'd been parted very infrequently, since, for better or for worse. Eren and Mikasa are...complicated. Maybe the way he loves her is not quite the same, and the way he shows it is not nearly as clear, but there are things that you cannot live through and come out of without strong bonds. They'd hit that point long before Shiganshina fell. It is fierce, and it is important, even if it is not always pretty.]
no subject
FROM: hinata.shouyou@cdc.org
It sounds like she'd fight for you to her last breath. She loves you, I think.
no subject
After something of a pause.]
FROM: jaeger.eren@cdc.org
we'd be dead without each other
[It's not a romantic notion, or a dramatic one. It's just true, a thousand times over. But she's not a topic most people dare to broach to him, it's not something he's very good at handling gracefully, most of the time. They don't understand each other, they'd barely even be friends, in another life, but she's unconscious in medical right now and the loud absence is grating on his nerves. And it's entirely possible this conversation would have tipped more causally if she wasn't. He raps his knuckles restlessly against the keyboard before following that up with—]
FROM: jaeger.eren@cdc.org
do you need something
no subject
No... Sorry, it's just about that.
[was it cruel timing? possibly. Eren's text answers so may questions he hadn't known he'd wanted to ask; as such, it followed one of the few things he had left to say (a few more to ask, but wasn't it cruel timing):]
She's really incredable. It's always a sad situation when a person doesn't return the same level of feelings, you know? I had to see if it was a situation like that.
no subject
The world is cruel. If this were a face to face conversation, his body language would have closed up a while ago.]
FROM: jaeger.eren@cdc.org
like what
no subject
She describes you like family, but I mean
[since we were kids and taken in weren't necessarily exclusive to varying relationship interpretations. besides, it was obvious the two weren't biologically related.]
[and.]
[again, timing was awful. but it just followed to ask, guy to guy,]
FROM: hinata.shouyou@cdc.org
Have you two ever wanted to date?
no subject
(Too set on dedicating his heart to humanity. It's not really right to expect anyone (her) to compete with that. He doesn't want or expect her to try.)
So, honestly.]
FROM: jaeger.eren@cdc.org
no
[That sort of thing isn't really in the cards for them, even if it was like that. (It isn't, not really. It's complicated.)]
no subject
Oh
[...]
[a bit more may have been necessary.]
FROM: hinata.shouyou@cdc.org
Huh
[nailed it.]
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FROM: jaeger.eren@cdc.org
what
[You weren't actually expecting a "yes" were you....]
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I mean... she's strong and devoted and loyal and honest and pretty good looking...
FROM: hinata.shouyou@cdc.org
You rrrreeeally didn't ever want to date?
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FROM: jaeger.eren@cdc.org
Hinata
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Or...
FROM: hinata.shouyou@cdc.org
Are you... that way?
FROM: hinata.shouyou@cdc.org
It's fine if you are I wouldn't judge I'm just wondering!!
no subject
??????????]
FROM: jaeger.eren@cdc.org
what? no.
[?????Stop?????]
FROM: jaeger.eren@cdc.org
why do you care so much? you remember what we're here for don't you
[Hint: it has a whole lot to do with blackmail and genocide and planets getting blown up and very little to do with frivolous things like dating. Or, y'know, being happy or something.]
no subject
[Eren please. as one protag to another: girls. c'mon. take a break from hitting up the angst pipe to appreciate the ladies in your life.]
[that said, the fact they were talking like this with Mikasa in a coma was a little weird. not gonna lie.]
[whatever, they were already balls deep.]
FROM: hinata.shouyou@cdc.org
well yeah but we're not exactly moving anywhere right now!!
FROM: hinata.shouyou@cdc.org
Are you positive you're into girls?? I really wouldn't care, honest
In fact I'm pretty sure Jean's into that so you two could... talk about it or
FROM: hinata.shouyou@cdc.org
go out for coffee or
FROM: hinata.shouyou@cdc.org
I don't know, did your world even have revenues for that stuff?? Like not just guy stuff but girl stuff too, was there anything good to look at?
no subject
It's a little weird to be talking about while Mikasa is in a coma, and they've just come off the end of a mission, and his patience for it has long whittled down in the first place. So, with shorter temper than Hinata usually earns from him—]
FROM: jaeger.eren@cdc.org
are you trying to piss me off
no subject
[(the Jean comment was a joke, honest! if Eren did swing for the same team, he could do much better!)]
[--- that response wasn't as surprising as it could've been.]
FROM: hinata.shouyou@cdc.org
No!!!
FROM: hinata.shouyou@cdc.org
Wait ok the real point I had in messaging was just
FROM: hinata.shouyou@cdc.org
to say
FROM: hinata.shouyou@cdc.org
I hope Mikasa's better soon! It can't last much longer.
no subject
But Hinata gets back to the point, and the point is something he's short tempered and aggravated over, but it's a nice thought, and he does actually get along with Hinata pretty well most of the time. So, after a little while to bleed out his irritation—]
FROM: jaeger.eren@cdc.org
armin didn't wake up until they transferred him out
FROM: jaeger.eren@cdc.org
I'm not letting that happen again
[as if he has any say.]
no subject
[Armin. Transferred too quickly.]
[he recognized the name, though--- well. Did the specifics realt matter? Any close friend would count the same.]
[mikasa was a good teammate to have. As the cdc knew: better the enemies you knew than the ones you didn't. They had no control. That didn't matter.]
FROM: Hinata.shouyou@cdc.org
It can't.
She'll be back before long.