Luckily, he'd worked past the part of his frustration that would have refused help or handouts a long time ago. Impatient, impulsive, he huffs out a breath behind the feed and just...picks one. Without a ton of deliberation in the end, but it's not hard to track the course of the choice. (Eren's experiences with water are largely mundane. Compared to the lightning crash shockwave of his shifting, the way Mikoto had thundershocked (him) the virtual monsters to a crisp in the VR room— If he had to pick, he'd been powerless too long not to go for something with more kick.)]
FROM: jaeger.eren@cdc.org
electric.
[(Lets be real, it's cooler.) That taken care of, how about something he has a bit more immediate vested interest in—]
[Vague. Of course. He grinds his teeth a little. He's apprehensive, frustrated, and it's not hard to imagine why. (A mysterious force appearing out of nowhere to wipe out a population...it's not like it isn't familiar. From the wrong angle.) He was holding on to this, but no time like the present to demand answers.]
FROM: jaeger.eren@cdc.org
why this place
[Ajna had been (as far as he knew) populated by mindless monsters. Destroying it had been a shame in some ways, but at least there'd be no one to miss it. (right?) But ever since D'Artagnan had warned him about what a type A planet was (what the next mission would entail—)]
[He gets that. He's a soldier. He knows that you get orders and then you follow them. What he doesn't get is why. What are they really accomplishing? And it matters. Even more than it did last time.]
[Eren killed two men as a child, and he'd never regretted it. In order to accomplish any of his dreams, he'd effectively committed himself to genocide long before the CDC had ever contracted him. It would seem a surprise, maybe, that he'd balk at killing a bunch of tree people that he has to reason to owe any loyalty to. He'd had no trouble defending himself against the Khasatsa throwing spears at him, had he?
But his choices have always (always) been deeply rooted in a sense of justice. He'll be as brutal as he needs to be without hesitation—as long as he thinks that the other side has it coming.
(He'd been on the side of the hunted for far too long. So really, it's no surprise at all.)]
FROM: jaeger.eren@cdc.org
they'll have us wipe out whoever's living here. [The who, not the what, and that distinction is also important. If this goes anything like Ajna did—]
you can't tell me they're doing it for nothing.
[They, we. His opinion of the CDC is low. Especially after a recent conversation with Parker, he's also aware it is incredibly incomplete. So what's the point?]
[...well, yeah, sort of. When you put it that way. Usually when he does that sort of thing, people would just pick one option or the other instead of pointing that out. If nothing else it stutters his momentum to a halt.]
[Eren's always tended to be a polarizing person. He pushes people for reactions basically as naturally as he breathes, because that's how change happens. And either things change or they don't, but either way things always push back. Warriorhead opts to react by abstaining from reacting entirely, and it's kind of the conversational equivalent of walking into a glass door without knowing it was there.
It's the kind of weird kick in the head that makes him...stop. Back up a few steps instead of continue barreling forward.
(I decline to join in on your emotional outburst. I decline to defend the CDC.)
It is not easy for him to operate on implications instead of absolutes. He spends a few minutes grinding his teeth and pulling his hands in and out of fists. But this is important. He backs up.]
[That's not good enough. It springs to the tip of his tongue. But his tongue is not his fingers.
He clenches them together for a while before attempting to type. Curbs himself to some degree, but. Because leaving well enough alone is still a work in progress...]
FROM: jaeger.eren@cdc.org
do you even care
[Why these people are being sacrificed. (For their own sakes? To save their own skins, so they can fight another day? No doubt he'll have a dozen voices willing to tell him that it's necessary. It's already leaving a sour taste in his mouth. Something he's having a hard time swallowing. If it is necessary, they need to be more than worth it.)]
You agreed to come here, Jaeger. You made an exchange, for something you valued more than your feelings regarding the lives you would be instructed to take and the planets you would be required to destroy.
And if what you have asked for is not worth that exchange, then you have been handed a lesson in choosing that which you value far more carefully.
[He wants to argue. He hadn't agreed to this. To becoming the very thing he'd worked his whole life to eliminate. (Then again, that's happened already, hasn't it? In a far more literal way. The difference is at least he could use his titan shifting to fight back.) He couldn't want anything less than to help the CDC with some kind of industrial conquest, senseless genocide.
But the woman who'd recruited him asked if he'd wanted to fight for humanity.
There's really only one answer he can give to that. No matter what a monster it makes of him.
It's a long time coming. It leaves a bitter and biting taste in his mouth. But eventually—]
FROM: jaeger.eren@cdc.org
sir.
[Humanity is too close to his heart, too overwhelming a priority. He's become what he hates to protect them before. But can he really accept this lying down?]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Luckily, he'd worked past the part of his frustration that would have refused help or handouts a long time ago. Impatient, impulsive, he huffs out a breath behind the feed and just...picks one. Without a ton of deliberation in the end, but it's not hard to track the course of the choice. (Eren's experiences with water are largely mundane. Compared to the lightning crash shockwave of his shifting, the way Mikoto had thundershocked (him) the virtual monsters to a crisp in the VR room— If he had to pick, he'd been powerless too long not to go for something with more kick.)]
FROM: jaeger.eren@cdc.org
electric.
[(Lets be real, it's cooler.) That taken care of, how about something he has a bit more immediate vested interest in—]
FROM: jaeger.eren@cdc.org
it's for the mission?
no subject
For a few of them. You'll see.
no subject
FROM: jaeger.eren@cdc.org
why this place
[Ajna had been (as far as he knew) populated by mindless monsters. Destroying it had been a shame in some ways, but at least there'd be no one to miss it. (right?) But ever since D'Artagnan had warned him about what a type A planet was (what the next mission would entail—)]
no subject
Assuming that your question is: Why are we on this planet, the answer is: Because this is where the CDC has deployed us.
no subject
FROM: jaeger.eren@cdc.org
they sent us here because they want it gone
[He gets that. He's a soldier. He knows that you get orders and then you follow them. What he doesn't get is why. What are they really accomplishing? And it matters. Even more than it did last time.]
FROM: jaeger.eren@cdc.org
what's the point
no subject
Did you have it in your head that all planets the CDC would send us to would be empty pieces of rock?
What is the point of what, Jaeger?
no subject
But his choices have always (always) been deeply rooted in a sense of justice. He'll be as brutal as he needs to be without hesitation—as long as he thinks that the other side has it coming.
(He'd been on the side of the hunted for far too long. So really, it's no surprise at all.)]
FROM: jaeger.eren@cdc.org
they'll have us wipe out whoever's living here. [The who, not the what, and that distinction is also important. If this goes anything like Ajna did—]
you can't tell me they're doing it for nothing.
[They, we. His opinion of the CDC is low. Especially after a recent conversation with Parker, he's also aware it is incredibly incomplete. So what's the point?]
no subject
No, I do not believe that anyone would be willing to work so hard without a substantial return for their efforts.
no subject
throws the blackglass into the forestHe stifles the impulse, but his temper certainly sparks, flares up.]
FROM: jaeger.eren@cdc.org
if they were working hard they wouldn't need us to do it for them
no subject
You are placing me in a position to defend the work of our employers or to share in your emotional outburst.
no subject
FROM: jaeger.eren@cdc.org
what
no subject
I am letting you know what your response has required of me, just as I am letting you know that I decline to do either.
no subject
It's the kind of weird kick in the head that makes him...stop. Back up a few steps instead of continue barreling forward.
(I decline to join in on your emotional outburst. I decline to defend the CDC.)
It is not easy for him to operate on implications instead of absolutes. He spends a few minutes grinding his teeth and pulling his hands in and out of fists. But this is important. He backs up.]
FROM: jaeger.eren@cdc.org
do you even know
why they want this place gone
no subject
Because there is something in it for the CDC. Because whatever their reward is outweighs any alternatives.
Asking for specifics would not change what we are here to do, and it will not change that we are going to do it.
no subject
He clenches them together for a while before attempting to type. Curbs himself to some degree, but. Because leaving well enough alone is still a work in progress...]
FROM: jaeger.eren@cdc.org
do you even care
[Why these people are being sacrificed. (For their own sakes? To save their own skins, so they can fight another day? No doubt he'll have a dozen voices willing to tell him that it's necessary. It's already leaving a sour taste in his mouth. Something he's having a hard time swallowing. If it is necessary, they need to be more than worth it.)]
no subject
The problem is not me.
The problem is that you care.
FROM: warriorhead@cdc.org
You agreed to come here, Jaeger. You made an exchange, for something you valued more than your feelings regarding the lives you would be instructed to take and the planets you would be required to destroy.
And if what you have asked for is not worth that exchange, then you have been handed a lesson in choosing that which you value far more carefully.
no subject
But the woman who'd recruited him asked if he'd wanted to fight for humanity.
There's really only one answer he can give to that. No matter what a monster it makes of him.
It's a long time coming. It leaves a bitter and biting taste in his mouth. But eventually—]
FROM: jaeger.eren@cdc.org
sir.
[Humanity is too close to his heart, too overwhelming a priority. He's become what he hates to protect them before. But can he really accept this lying down?]