[RUDE AS HECK he's a strong independent shingeki, Mikasa, he doesn't need your permission to do dumb things.]
FROM: jaeger.eren@cdc.org
Armin's coming. We'll be back in a few days.
[Willfully ignoring the actual question, because he knew this was coming sooner or later. She can toss him to the ground when he gets back.]
FROM: jaeger.eren@cdc.org
Armin's coming. We'll be back in a few days.
[Willfully ignoring the actual question, because he knew this was coming sooner or later. She can toss him to the ground when he gets back.]
[Wow that's a whole lot of text. He'd started on a reply maybe three times before losing his patience with getting interrupted and tossing his blackglass out onto the surface of his bunk until it stopped pinging at him.
So, a handful of seconds slower than usual (already pretty slow) texing speed, and as if it's the simplest thing in the world:]
So don't die again. as long as you're still alive you can figure it out.
[And he says "alive" here, even if she's got her weird ghosty deal. The point is she's living, and that's enough for now. Dealing comes after surviving.]
So, a handful of seconds slower than usual (already pretty slow) texing speed, and as if it's the simplest thing in the world:]
So don't die again. as long as you're still alive you can figure it out.
[And he says "alive" here, even if she's got her weird ghosty deal. The point is she's living, and that's enough for now. Dealing comes after surviving.]
[Mikasa...]
I already said I would. I won't just back out.
[Ghost had asked for people willing to go exploring, and it's no surprise Eren had been willing to stretch his legs and see a new part of the planet. Turns out it's a little more complicated a mission than that, but it's too late to turn his back now, even if he was that sort of person.]
I already said I would. I won't just back out.
[Ghost had asked for people willing to go exploring, and it's no surprise Eren had been willing to stretch his legs and see a new part of the planet. Turns out it's a little more complicated a mission than that, but it's too late to turn his back now, even if he was that sort of person.]
[Wow, that's almost insulting. Or maybe more than almost. Nearly immediately—]
I'm not doing it for them
I'm not doing it for them
[They're in a bind, here. They have to do a job, or there will be consequences for humanity. He hasn't forgotten how much it pisses him off to have that noose hanging around their necks. He has little love for the CDC, and little interest in going above and beyond just for the sake of their "employers."
Their comrades, however—]
they're not going to be the ones risking their necks out there
[There are too many of them who are stuck here in the same position. Blackmailed and bought by the lives of those they left at home. They need to survive. Sitting on his hands won't do anything.]
Their comrades, however—]
they're not going to be the ones risking their necks out there
[There are too many of them who are stuck here in the same position. Blackmailed and bought by the lives of those they left at home. They need to survive. Sitting on his hands won't do anything.]
[ Eren, she is so angry that you've warped your logic into this that she's just left staring at her device incredulously.
Because this is something she's not going to try and control you over. As much as she hates it, she's not going to try and convince you that they're not worth it. That there's no need to be so self-sacrificing because in the end it was just that about you that saved her in the first place.
But she's still angry, and she's still disappointed, and there's nothing that she can do so she'll just withdraw. ]
Because this is something she's not going to try and control you over. As much as she hates it, she's not going to try and convince you that they're not worth it. That there's no need to be so self-sacrificing because in the end it was just that about you that saved her in the first place.
But she's still angry, and she's still disappointed, and there's nothing that she can do so she'll just withdraw. ]
[What do you want from him. He's not backing out now, and he's sure as hell not letting Armin head out there without someone watching his back. He hasn't forgotten that he has a responsibility to humanity, to stay alive so his comrades don't die in vain. But he also has a responsibility as a soldier to protect them, to fight, because he has the power to do so where they can't. Balancing that is hard. It's hard for him to stay safe while others fight and die. It's hard for him to stay put when he could be walking the shorelines and cliffaces of the world. It's hard for him take a backseat, and to know when to hang back and when to charge ahead, and sometimes he just doesn't think things through, even now.
The lack of a reply is a loud one, from her. She worries too much. (She isn't wrong to.)
He spends a while staring down at the screen of his blackglass, mouth drawn tight, something bitter boiling down in his chest. All at once, he exhales in a huff, closes the inbox screen and stows it for the rest of the ride out to Sector R.]
The lack of a reply is a loud one, from her. She worries too much. (She isn't wrong to.)
He spends a while staring down at the screen of his blackglass, mouth drawn tight, something bitter boiling down in his chest. All at once, he exhales in a huff, closes the inbox screen and stows it for the rest of the ride out to Sector R.]
[In some ways it's not all that unlike the talking-down Armin gave him at the start of all this. It still doesn't sit easy on him. None of this does.
To his credit he does try to understand.]
FROM: jaeger.eren@cdc.org
what if they don't?
[Perform that much.]
To his credit he does try to understand.]
FROM: jaeger.eren@cdc.org
what if they don't?
[Perform that much.]
[ Man. She sent him an avalanche of words, and he comes back with something that simple and that straightforward.
After a moment's consideration, she decides it's one of his more endearing qualities. ]
01
Spoken like a true survivor!
I will do my 8est. 8esides, moping is for weaky lame little wigglers, which I'm definitely not! That shit's for the flap8easts.
02
8ut I am going to need you to hold up your end of the 8argain here, Eren!
[ What bargain? ]
After a moment's consideration, she decides it's one of his more endearing qualities. ]
01
Spoken like a true survivor!
I will do my 8est. 8esides, moping is for weaky lame little wigglers, which I'm definitely not! That shit's for the flap8easts.
02
8ut I am going to need you to hold up your end of the 8argain here, Eren!
[ What bargain? ]
[Wh.
Okay he understood most of that but wigglers? Flap8easts....? Also—]
FROM: jaeger.eren@cdc.org
bargain?
Okay he understood most of that but wigglers? Flap8easts....? Also—]
FROM: jaeger.eren@cdc.org
bargain?
[ Aliens, man. ]
Yeah! We're making this a deal, now. If I can't die, then neither can you! Got it?
Yeah! We're making this a deal, now. If I can't die, then neither can you! Got it?
[Thankfully for Eren, Hange's patient when it comes to matters that are actually important. She's willing to answer, so long as he's willing to listen.]
FROM: hange.zoe@cdc.org
They will.
FROM: hange.zoe@cdc.org
We can't allow ourselves to doubt them. This won't work otherwise.
FROM: hange.zoe@cdc.org
For now: will you be able to at least agree to a ceasefire?
FROM: hange.zoe@cdc.org
They will.
FROM: hange.zoe@cdc.org
We can't allow ourselves to doubt them. This won't work otherwise.
FROM: hange.zoe@cdc.org
For now: will you be able to at least agree to a ceasefire?
[As much as he chafes against it, the best way to get Eren to cooperate with something he doesn't like is to get him to understand why it might be necessary. So as unhappy as he is with the conversation, it means a lot that she's willing to have it. (As a superior officer and de facto Commander in Erwin's absence, she doesn't technically have to.)
Still, this is somewhat more drastic a disconnect than usual. It's complicated in a few ways. Goes against the grain of him in others. He's radio silent for a while. Long enough to be worrying, maybe.
After several long minutes, carefully, as if typing it is just as difficult:]
FROM: jaeger.eren@cdc.org
Yes ma'am. I will agree to a ceasefire if they will.
[If they break their word then all bets are off. But he can try. In effect, a ceasefire's not all that different from what they've been doing for the past few weeks already. It's still hard. He's supposed to believe they'll hold up their end of the bargain. But he hadn't wanted to believe they were traitors, didn't want to doubt them in the first place, and he'd been wrong. But he does want to believe in Hange, and in the rest of the Corps, and with the CDC breathing down their necks and holding humanity hostage against them, he doesn't have any better options. If she thinks this is the right thing to do—for the Corps, for humanity—then for now...he can try.]
Still, this is somewhat more drastic a disconnect than usual. It's complicated in a few ways. Goes against the grain of him in others. He's radio silent for a while. Long enough to be worrying, maybe.
After several long minutes, carefully, as if typing it is just as difficult:]
FROM: jaeger.eren@cdc.org
Yes ma'am. I will agree to a ceasefire if they will.
[If they break their word then all bets are off. But he can try. In effect, a ceasefire's not all that different from what they've been doing for the past few weeks already. It's still hard. He's supposed to believe they'll hold up their end of the bargain. But he hadn't wanted to believe they were traitors, didn't want to doubt them in the first place, and he'd been wrong. But he does want to believe in Hange, and in the rest of the Corps, and with the CDC breathing down their necks and holding humanity hostage against them, he doesn't have any better options. If she thinks this is the right thing to do—for the Corps, for humanity—then for now...he can try.]
[Several people would probably say that's a bad bet to make with Eren "Suicidal Bastard" Jaeger. But he's got a pretty good track record for staying alive so far. (Better than hers, apparently.)
It isn't exactly what he was expecting. Bemused, he pauses a moment before answering.]
Wasn't planning on it. I've got too much to do to die in a place like this.
[Too many scores to settle. Too much responsibility resting on his shoulders. A race of monsters to eradicate and a human race to free and a world of his own to see.]
It isn't exactly what he was expecting. Bemused, he pauses a moment before answering.]
Wasn't planning on it. I've got too much to do to die in a place like this.
[Too many scores to settle. Too much responsibility resting on his shoulders. A race of monsters to eradicate and a human race to free and a world of his own to see.]
[For a moment, Hange does worry.
She doesn't expect her soldiers to wipe the identities of those who've personally threatened humanity and provide a blank slate. They all have every right to hate the shifters and what they could potentially stand for. It wasn't an easy thing to accept and cast aside, not when they've been trained specifically to protect the human populace. In Eren's case, as one of the few Shiganshina survivors, it must be especially hard.
However, Hange's methods have always been unconventional. She's shifted her priorities about the titans once already; to her, this isn't all that different in the long run. They must be willing to take risks, to broaden their horizons and capture any opportunity they can allow.
Hange can't claim this is the right thing to do, but for now it's all they have.]
FROM: hange.zoe@cdc.org
Then it's settled.
FROM: hange.zoe@cdc.org
I'll see you in two hours, Eren.
She doesn't expect her soldiers to wipe the identities of those who've personally threatened humanity and provide a blank slate. They all have every right to hate the shifters and what they could potentially stand for. It wasn't an easy thing to accept and cast aside, not when they've been trained specifically to protect the human populace. In Eren's case, as one of the few Shiganshina survivors, it must be especially hard.
However, Hange's methods have always been unconventional. She's shifted her priorities about the titans once already; to her, this isn't all that different in the long run. They must be willing to take risks, to broaden their horizons and capture any opportunity they can allow.
Hange can't claim this is the right thing to do, but for now it's all they have.]
FROM: hange.zoe@cdc.org
Then it's settled.
FROM: hange.zoe@cdc.org
I'll see you in two hours, Eren.
I wasn't planning on it either, and look where that got me! All I am saying is to 8e careful.
You've got 8ig goals, huh?
You've got 8ig goals, huh?
[It's...especially hard. Even alone in the of his rover and far away from the shifters and farther away from the ruins of Shiganshina and the remains of humanity. It's hard. Accepting what's happened, (what's going to happen, in a future he should remember but doesn't.) Being so close and having to hold back. Again, he takes a while, holding the blackglass too-tight, knocking his head back against the wall of his bunk to vent his frustration in a too-small and very-unsatisfying way.
There's a lot more he'd rather do (rather say) than go along with this. But it's settled. (Is it? Words are cheap, he can't forgive Reiner for what the Armored Titan did, he can't trust Annie even if some part of him still wants to.)]
FROM: jaeger.eren@cdc.org
Roger that, Squad Leader.
[But he'll be there. Because as hard as it is, it's not about what he wants. It can't be. Not here.]
There's a lot more he'd rather do (rather say) than go along with this. But it's settled. (Is it? Words are cheap, he can't forgive Reiner for what the Armored Titan did, he can't trust Annie even if some part of him still wants to.)]
FROM: jaeger.eren@cdc.org
Roger that, Squad Leader.
[But he'll be there. Because as hard as it is, it's not about what he wants. It can't be. Not here.]
yeah.
[And he's under no illusions. They're big dreams. That's not going to stop him from pursuing them. He's got titans to kill, walls to escape, a world to see. And, after a moment.]
FROM: jaeger.eren@cdc.org
I've got people counting on me. I need to make it worth it.
[The whole of humanity. Or at least, what's left of it. Personal dreams and vendettas aside. He can't die, because there are people who have died for him, and he needs to make sure that it wasn't in vain. Because humanity is pinning their last hopes on him, and he intends on living up to that responsibility. He takes it all pretty damn seriously.]
[And he's under no illusions. They're big dreams. That's not going to stop him from pursuing them. He's got titans to kill, walls to escape, a world to see. And, after a moment.]
FROM: jaeger.eren@cdc.org
I've got people counting on me. I need to make it worth it.
[The whole of humanity. Or at least, what's left of it. Personal dreams and vendettas aside. He can't die, because there are people who have died for him, and he needs to make sure that it wasn't in vain. Because humanity is pinning their last hopes on him, and he intends on living up to that responsibility. He takes it all pretty damn seriously.]
it's 2am and i've been sewing for like four hours don't judge me ; day 30
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hahahorsejokes
2014-08-05 05:50 am (UTC)(link)
FROM: kirstein.jean@cdc.org
what the fuck is going on with you and mikasa
what the fuck is going on with you and mikasa
[?????????]
FROM: jaeger.eren@cdc.org
what are you talking about
[She's being Mikasa about him going on the mission, what else is new.]
FROM: jaeger.eren@cdc.org
what are you talking about
[She's being Mikasa about him going on the mission, what else is new.]
FROM: kirstein.jean@cdc.org
don't play dumb
FROM: kirstein.jean@cdc.org
or dumber than usual
don't play dumb
FROM: kirstein.jean@cdc.org
or dumber than usual
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