[This is the first thing Hange does once she sees the message. She wonders if this is something Eren wants to be congratulated on, and so with that thought comes:]
[He sort of appreciates Hange passing on the congratulations. He doesn't particularly want to hear them, right now. When the unit assignments came in, and he was unsurprised (even relieved) to see he'd been assigned to the Combat unit before the more technical ones. And then he realized what the bolding on his name is meant to signify.
Unit leader, along with Parker, and it stops him short and startled. So it's something of a relief when Hange pings into his inbox a few seconds later. Because he's not entirely sure what he's supposed to do about this. Honestly—]
FROM: jaeger.eren@cdc.org
I don't get it
[He never really scored well with that sort of thing in training, before. He never aspired or aimed to move up in the ranks in the CDC. He never even kept it much of a secret how he feels about the organization, and Warriorhead has chastised him for it not too long ago.]
[She's not trying to grill Eren; if anything, she understands exactly why he's confused. But it's an interesting turn of events and she's always been the type of person to squeeze as much information out of these situations as possible. Eren's feedback is important.]
[A lot of things. Eren spends most of his life being varying shades of baffled and concerned and aggravated most of the time. It's hard to know where to start.]
FROM: jaeger.eren@cdc.org
I don't know why he picked me
[And he'll ask, when he manages to respond to Warriorhead's announcement, but for now— By all rights, there are at least a handful of people in Orange who'd be better suited for it. Probably more than a handful.]
[Ever since Day 1, Warriorhead has always been a bit of an enigma for her, and so his reasoning for choosing Eren would likely be different than her assumptions.
Still, that's something she'll ask him regardless, but that doesn't mean she can't attempt to piece the puzzles together through her subordinate.
FROM: hange.zoe@cdc.org
Tell me the reasons why you don't think he should've picked you.
[He no more understands Warriorhead than she does. If anything, this decision only knocks him further for a loop. He grids his teeth together for a few seconds as she presses him for detail. It seems like it ought to be obvious, and his building discomfort isn't helping him articulate it. It isn't quite panic, but he's nowhere near settled with the turn of events.]
FROM: jaeger.eren@cdc.org he told me I need to be more careful or I'll get everyone killed
[That this isn't a war, that he needs to disguise which side he's on. Warriorhead seems to be very aware of just how Eren feels about the CDC. (And just how shit he can be at keeping a lid on it.) Putting him in a leadership position is just about as far from lying low as it gets.
He's not the type to be cool under pressure or to weigh the good and the bad of a course of action before taking it. And he knows that. Anyone who's spoken to him for more than a few seconds knows that. (And if he hadn't let his emotions cloud his judgment, maybe Armin wouldn't have been the only survivor from his squad in Trost. Maybe the Special Operations Squad would still be alive.)
There's a pause, like he's thinking about going on. But instead of getting into it.]
[And she doubts that's going to happen any time soon, if the results she'd been told meant something. If it were based solely on experience then there's no doubt that there were many others who would've taken to the role more kindly than her subordinate. However, one glance at the list of leadership roles tells her another story entirely.]
FROM: hange.zoe@cdc.org
I'm not Warriorhead, and therefore what I say shouldn't be taken as his word, but it seems like he's chosen those who could potentially learn the most from obtaining such a position.
FROM: hange.zoe@cdc.org
If he told you to be careful, it's likely that this is a more physical approach for that warning.
["You've grown." He hadn't had the time to think too heavily on the note attached to his assessment grades. If this is Warriorhead's way of teaching him a lesson—
No better way to make him very aware of the repercussions of his actions than to put them under a spotlight, to tie the lives of the rest of his squad to them in a more official way.
But promotion or not, his loyalty does not lie with the CDC itself. Not by far.]
FROM: jaeger.eren@cdc.org
what do you think, Squad Leader?
[What does he do about this? Erwin had told him to lie low, and he'd managed to attract attention in the wrong direction anyway. If screws up, it's not just his neck he's risking.]
[To be fair Eren, you weren't exactly lying as low as you probably should've, but things have already been set into motion and all they can do is work with what they have.]
FROM: hange.zoe@cdc.org
I doubt you'll be able to sway Warriorhead to reconsider his options through words alone.
FROM: hange.zoe@cdc.org
With that said, there are two things you can do:
FROM: hange.zoe@cdc.org
One, purposely perform terribly as a leader short of straight up insubordination. A mistake here or there is part of human nature, and they can revive whoever you lose anyway.
[Ouch.]
FROM: hange.zoe@cdc.org
Or two, take advantage of this promotion and learn what you can from it. We have a long road ahead of us Eren; the skills and lessons you learn here will undoubtedly help you in the future.
[What are you talking about he was totally...under the radar....
But jfc, Hange. Near immediately following the receipt of Option Number One:]
FROM: jaeger.eren@cdc.org
I won't do that
[Just because the CDC can bring people back doesn't mean they will. They've seen it happen both ways. And just because he's unsure about his promotion doesn't mean the people under his command should pay for it. It's cowardly, and it's unacceptable. It pisses him off just thinking about it, kicks him out of the stunned and uncomfortable uncertainty that he'd been caught in and galvanizes him back into purpose. Because Hange is not wrong about the long road ahead.
By the time Warriorhead offers him a subtle out, he's already made up his mind. Option Two it is.]
FROM: jaeger.eren@cdc.org
I'll figure it out. We're not dying here. I'll do whatever it takes to keep something like that from happening
[Because people die in a war but that doesn't mean you should lie down and accept it. He's under no illusions about being any good at playing the leader right now. He'll make himself good at it if he has to.
[The immediate response isn't a surprising one to receive, and neither is Eren's determination to succeed for the sake of others. In the six months they've been a part of the CDC, she's watched the teen face his own set of hardships and develop as a soldier.
But they still have a lot way to go, and like Eren, Hange's determined to succeed as well.]
FROM: hange.zoe@cdc.org
Levi and I are here.
FROM: hange.zoe@cdc.org
Use us to your advantage, Eren. We won't turn you away if you need advice.
FROM: hange.zoe@cdc.org
Of course, sometimes good leadership comes at the spur of the moment.
[What he really means is "thank you." Because Hange's been acting commander for months, now. If he hadn't admired her before—and he had, for slightly separate but no less important reasons—he has plenty more reason to, now. And that's not something he's shy about admitting. (Lets be real, Eren's always been the biggest fan of the Corps in general.)]
FROM: jaeger.eren@cdc.org
I won't let you down
[He's not entirely sure how, yet. But it's a start.]
[They've all grown closer over the months, faced the same gains and losses that forced them to become stronger. They're a tighter packed unit, and while any of them could be reassigned at any day, she can't help but grow attached anyway.
Because while Eren's always been special as the symbol for Humanity's Hope, she's watched him grow as an individual as well, and she's watched enough people die too soon to appreciate something so simple.]
FROM: hange.zoe@cdc.org
Try not to let yourself down either.
FROM: hange.zoe@cdc.org
I'll be making my usual rounds now, but it looks like there's a place in the ship that'll accommodate your titan's full height, so I want us to investigate later.
One of the training rooms I stumbled across might be able to accommodate for your size! I wasn't able to measure it accurately myself, but I can guarantee you at least won't crush yourself.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
day 60 ; after assessment grades
FROM: hange.zoe@cdc.org
Tell me your opinion.
weh
Unit leader, along with Parker, and it stops him short and startled. So it's something of a relief when Hange pings into his inbox a few seconds later. Because he's not entirely sure what he's supposed to do about this. Honestly—]
FROM: jaeger.eren@cdc.org
I don't get it
[He never really scored well with that sort of thing in training, before. He never aspired or aimed to move up in the ranks in the CDC. He never even kept it much of a secret how he feels about the organization, and Warriorhead has chastised him for it not too long ago.]
ambi ur dumb
FROM: hange.zoe@cdc.org
Tell me what you don't get.
[She's not trying to grill Eren; if anything, she understands exactly why he's confused. But it's an interesting turn of events and she's always been the type of person to squeeze as much information out of these situations as possible. Eren's feedback is important.]
I had a very emotional day yesterday
FROM: jaeger.eren@cdc.org
I don't know why he picked me
[And he'll ask, when he manages to respond to Warriorhead's announcement, but for now— By all rights, there are at least a handful of people in Orange who'd be better suited for it. Probably more than a handful.]
that's gross...
Still, that's something she'll ask him regardless, but that doesn't mean she can't attempt to piece the puzzles together through her subordinate.
FROM: hange.zoe@cdc.org
Tell me the reasons why you don't think he should've picked you.
yeah....
FROM: jaeger.eren@cdc.org
he told me I need to be more careful or I'll get everyone killed
[That this isn't a war, that he needs to disguise which side he's on. Warriorhead seems to be very aware of just how Eren feels about the CDC. (And just how shit he can be at keeping a lid on it.) Putting him in a leadership position is just about as far from lying low as it gets.
He's not the type to be cool under pressure or to weigh the good and the bad of a course of action before taking it. And he knows that. Anyone who's spoken to him for more than a few seconds knows that. (And if he hadn't let his emotions cloud his judgment, maybe Armin wouldn't have been the only survivor from his squad in Trost. Maybe the Special Operations Squad would still be alive.)
There's a pause, like he's thinking about going on. But instead of getting into it.]
FROM: jaeger.eren@cdc.org
he could have asked the captain
no subject
But he didn't.
[And she doubts that's going to happen any time soon, if the results she'd been told meant something. If it were based solely on experience then there's no doubt that there were many others who would've taken to the role more kindly than her subordinate. However, one glance at the list of leadership roles tells her another story entirely.]
FROM: hange.zoe@cdc.org
I'm not Warriorhead, and therefore what I say shouldn't be taken as his word, but it seems like he's chosen those who could potentially learn the most from obtaining such a position.
FROM: hange.zoe@cdc.org
If he told you to be careful, it's likely that this is a more physical approach for that warning.
no subject
No better way to make him very aware of the repercussions of his actions than to put them under a spotlight, to tie the lives of the rest of his squad to them in a more official way.
But promotion or not, his loyalty does not lie with the CDC itself. Not by far.]
FROM: jaeger.eren@cdc.org
what do you think, Squad Leader?
[What does he do about this? Erwin had told him to lie low, and he'd managed to attract attention in the wrong direction anyway. If screws up, it's not just his neck he's risking.]
no subject
FROM: hange.zoe@cdc.org
I doubt you'll be able to sway Warriorhead to reconsider his options through words alone.
FROM: hange.zoe@cdc.org
With that said, there are two things you can do:
FROM: hange.zoe@cdc.org
One, purposely perform terribly as a leader short of straight up insubordination. A mistake here or there is part of human nature, and they can revive whoever you lose anyway.
[Ouch.]
FROM: hange.zoe@cdc.org
Or two, take advantage of this promotion and learn what you can from it. We have a long road ahead of us Eren; the skills and lessons you learn here will undoubtedly help you in the future.
no subject
But jfc, Hange. Near immediately following the receipt of Option Number One:]
FROM: jaeger.eren@cdc.org
I won't do that
[Just because the CDC can bring people back doesn't mean they will. They've seen it happen both ways. And just because he's unsure about his promotion doesn't mean the people under his command should pay for it. It's cowardly, and it's unacceptable. It pisses him off just thinking about it, kicks him out of the stunned and uncomfortable uncertainty that he'd been caught in and galvanizes him back into purpose. Because Hange is not wrong about the long road ahead.
By the time Warriorhead offers him a subtle out, he's already made up his mind. Option Two it is.]
FROM: jaeger.eren@cdc.org
I'll figure it out. We're not dying here. I'll do whatever it takes to keep something like that from happening
[Because people die in a war but that doesn't mean you should lie down and accept it. He's under no illusions about being any good at playing the leader right now. He'll make himself good at it if he has to.
(He's probably going to need a lot of help.)]
no subject
But they still have a lot way to go, and like Eren, Hange's determined to succeed as well.]
FROM: hange.zoe@cdc.org
Levi and I are here.
FROM: hange.zoe@cdc.org
Use us to your advantage, Eren. We won't turn you away if you need advice.
FROM: hange.zoe@cdc.org
Of course, sometimes good leadership comes at the spur of the moment.
no subject
I understand ma'am
[What he really means is "thank you." Because Hange's been acting commander for months, now. If he hadn't admired her before—and he had, for slightly separate but no less important reasons—he has plenty more reason to, now. And that's not something he's shy about admitting. (Lets be real, Eren's always been the biggest fan of the Corps in general.)]
FROM: jaeger.eren@cdc.org
I won't let you down
[He's not entirely sure how, yet. But it's a start.]
no subject
Because while Eren's always been special as the symbol for Humanity's Hope, she's watched him grow as an individual as well, and she's watched enough people die too soon to appreciate something so simple.]
FROM: hange.zoe@cdc.org
Try not to let yourself down either.
FROM: hange.zoe@cdc.org
I'll be making my usual rounds now, but it looks like there's a place in the ship that'll accommodate your titan's full height, so I want us to investigate later.
no subject
And to be frank, after the kneejerk working himself up in knots over this, blowing off some steam (literally?) is probably not a bad idea. So.]
FROM: jaeger.eren@cdc.org
where is it?
no subject
FROM: hange.zoe@cdc.org
One of the training rooms I stumbled across might be able to accommodate for your size! I wasn't able to measure it accurately myself, but I can guarantee you at least won't crush yourself.
[How comforting.]
no subject
Yeah, that's reassuring, Hange.]
FROM: jaeger.eren@cdc.org
Might?
[Not crushing himself is good. Not crushing anything (anyone???) else is probably better.]
no subject
It's a good thing we're in such a well-stocked ship, but I doubt we'll have to do anything too drastic.
FROM: hange.zoe@cdc.org
So when are you free?
no subject
FROM: jaeger.eren@cdc.org
Whenever you're ready, Squad Leader.
[Famous last words.]