[ Hey, if he dies, she doesn't know who she will have to work it. She doesn't care, baka. ]
FROM: parker@cdc.org
on the other side of the river. got some angry tribe firing arrows at us. you?
FROM: parker@cdc.org
guess it'd come to this sooner or later.
[ Class A planets, she means. Killing people. ]
FROM: parker@cdc.org
on the other side of the river. got some angry tribe firing arrows at us. you?
FROM: parker@cdc.org
guess it'd come to this sooner or later.
[ Class A planets, she means. Killing people. ]
[Hange will be in the middle of preparing a space for her upcoming assessment when Eren's voice flits through the space, glancing over her shoulder before smiling brightly and gesturing her subordinate to enter.]
Come in, Eren! [She starts, momentarily forgetting her sense of personal space (again) as she crosses the medical area and slaps her hands over his shoulders.] It's good to see you're looking as well as ever.
[Aside from the obvious signs of fatigue and hunger, but that can be remedied easily enough.]
Come in, Eren! [She starts, momentarily forgetting her sense of personal space (again) as she crosses the medical area and slaps her hands over his shoulders.] It's good to see you're looking as well as ever.
[Aside from the obvious signs of fatigue and hunger, but that can be remedied easily enough.]
FROM: warriorhead@cdc.org
The problem is not me.
The problem is that you care.
FROM: warriorhead@cdc.org
You agreed to come here, Jaeger. You made an exchange, for something you valued more than your feelings regarding the lives you would be instructed to take and the planets you would be required to destroy.
And if what you have asked for is not worth that exchange, then you have been handed a lesson in choosing that which you value far more carefully.
The problem is not me.
The problem is that you care.
FROM: warriorhead@cdc.org
You agreed to come here, Jaeger. You made an exchange, for something you valued more than your feelings regarding the lives you would be instructed to take and the planets you would be required to destroy.
And if what you have asked for is not worth that exchange, then you have been handed a lesson in choosing that which you value far more carefully.
Your job isn't to justify the policies of the CDC to everyone, Eren. None of us will be comfortable with it either way and it's a waste of time to do so.
But you owe it to the people who are waiting for you to return to do good in this recent venture. There is a war back home that won't just be ended by blind trust, and it is time we think about the future than remain consistently angry about our present situation.
[stay alive. protect the crew. carry out your duties whether you approve of genocide or not. get stronger. those are the only important goals that, as far as erwin is concerned, eren should have. he has to be stronger when he gets home, so that when the time comes that erwin asks him to go on that mission with levi, he will be prepared.
he hopes, with everything in him, that he will be prepared.]
But you owe it to the people who are waiting for you to return to do good in this recent venture. There is a war back home that won't just be ended by blind trust, and it is time we think about the future than remain consistently angry about our present situation.
[stay alive. protect the crew. carry out your duties whether you approve of genocide or not. get stronger. those are the only important goals that, as far as erwin is concerned, eren should have. he has to be stronger when he gets home, so that when the time comes that erwin asks him to go on that mission with levi, he will be prepared.
he hopes, with everything in him, that he will be prepared.]
[Yeah ok. Don't worry, he won't get any funny ideas. They're comrades, by circumstance and necessity, for better or for worse. Looking out for each other is a given, not a courtesy.]
FROM: jaeger.eren@cdc.org
in the mountains. the bugs were poison. the people by the water used spears.
[People. So it doesn't take much for him to follow her train of thought. And maybe he's fooling himself, thinking he can change anything in the next few weeks, but—]
FROM: jaeger.eren@cdc.org
it's not over yet
[Eren's killed before. He'd basically dedicated his life to a specific sort of genocide back home. But there's always been a very important element of justice involved. As far as he knows, this isn't justice.]
FROM: jaeger.eren@cdc.org
in the mountains. the bugs were poison. the people by the water used spears.
[People. So it doesn't take much for him to follow her train of thought. And maybe he's fooling himself, thinking he can change anything in the next few weeks, but—]
FROM: jaeger.eren@cdc.org
it's not over yet
[Eren's killed before. He'd basically dedicated his life to a specific sort of genocide back home. But there's always been a very important element of justice involved. As far as he knows, this isn't justice.]
[ It would be a stretch to say there is some empathy for the planet of even the lives they are here to destroy, but there is a moral dilemma at play. Parker, for all her extremist views that come from years of being part of a resistance and ideals not all can identify with, still can distinguish right from wrong, or rather, what her views on right and wrong are. Not to mention the fact that someone having the power to impose their decisions onto others sits like spoiled milk in her stomach.
But there is a far, far larger part of her that pulls the reigns of her indignation and rebelling nature. She's just glad she has had the time to blow out her stress back on the Neheda rather than bringing it here. ]
FROM: parker@cdc.org
there is little chance for an outcome other than ajna's.
But there is a far, far larger part of her that pulls the reigns of her indignation and rebelling nature. She's just glad she has had the time to blow out her stress back on the Neheda rather than bringing it here. ]
FROM: parker@cdc.org
there is little chance for an outcome other than ajna's.
FROM: kirstein.jean@cdc.org
I'm sorry the numbers went over your head I'll try and make it easier next time
[ whatever his scales are perfect, it's not his fault if eren can't seem to appreciate them properly.
though on a more serious note, there's a reason he's sending out so many messages. of the people from home, there were remarkably few people he'd recognized. which meant they'd fallen into the wide, wide ocean and drowned, or landed somewhere else.
the odds of one to the other are discomforting. ]
FROM: kirstein.jean@cdc.org
only person who got dropped with me was commander hange
you?
I'm sorry the numbers went over your head I'll try and make it easier next time
[ whatever his scales are perfect, it's not his fault if eren can't seem to appreciate them properly.
though on a more serious note, there's a reason he's sending out so many messages. of the people from home, there were remarkably few people he'd recognized. which meant they'd fallen into the wide, wide ocean and drowned, or landed somewhere else.
the odds of one to the other are discomforting. ]
FROM: kirstein.jean@cdc.org
only person who got dropped with me was commander hange
you?
[Your faith that there will be a next time is probably well founded.]
FROM: jaeger.eren@cdc.org
the Captain
[And, after a slightly aggravated pause.]
FROM: jaeger.eren@cdc.org
Reiner
[That's about it. Though—]
FROM: jaeger.eren@cdc.org
heard from Commander Erwin and Mikasa already
[And Hange, but Jean's already covered her.]
FROM: jaeger.eren@cdc.org
the Captain
[And, after a slightly aggravated pause.]
FROM: jaeger.eren@cdc.org
Reiner
[That's about it. Though—]
FROM: jaeger.eren@cdc.org
heard from Commander Erwin and Mikasa already
[And Hange, but Jean's already covered her.]
[Personal space, Hange. But Eren doesn't seem to mind overmuch. Besides, he's gotten used to her. Counting the three months since Trost and all the time they've spent in the CDC, he's been under Hange's command—in one capacity or another—for about a year, now. It's long enough to get used to someone's eccentricities. Even when they're as...eccentric as Hange's tend to be.
So his shoulders slack under her hands instead of startling up stiff like they might have a while back, and he relaxes a little into an expression that's more easily relieved.]
You too, ma'am.
[As well as ever, or close enough. The rips in his clothes ought to say otherwise—clean cuts, like someone had come at him with a knife—but he is, of course, long healed over, by now. He looks around the medtent, but it seems to be pretty sedate, which is probably a good sign.]
Everyone else make it in?
So his shoulders slack under her hands instead of startling up stiff like they might have a while back, and he relaxes a little into an expression that's more easily relieved.]
You too, ma'am.
[As well as ever, or close enough. The rips in his clothes ought to say otherwise—clean cuts, like someone had come at him with a knife—but he is, of course, long healed over, by now. He looks around the medtent, but it seems to be pretty sedate, which is probably a good sign.]
Everyone else make it in?
[He'd blown off some steam on the Neheda. It isn't enough. It might not ever be. He's never had to keep such tight tabs on himself. As much as he's trying to heed the warnings he gotten, (from his Survey Corps superiors, from Kotetsu, back on the Neheda, from Warriorhead, in his own weird way. A handful of others, in other times, other ways.) He's still a sixteen year old asshole with too many feelings about stuff like this. It's hard. It's not something he'll be able to keep up without it getting to him, one way or the other.
They just got here. It's too soon to be admitting defeat.
Before he can think better of it—]
FROM: jaeger.eren@cdc.org
so you're just giving up?
They just got here. It's too soon to be admitting defeat.
Before he can think better of it—]
FROM: jaeger.eren@cdc.org
so you're just giving up?
[ On that, Parker can relate. She has never had to be silent. She has never had to hold back her thoughts. But more and more, she finds it to be a necessity to keep her world out of harm and her head on her shoulders. But she isn't the best example for Eren to follow, and certainly not one to listen to.
But she will not stand for that accusation. ]
FROM: parker@cdc.org
don't be stupid.
[ Which, in this context, is more than her telling him to go to hell for saying such a thing; it's a warning to keep his mouth quiet. The network is closely monitored. Everyone knows that. ]
But she will not stand for that accusation. ]
FROM: parker@cdc.org
don't be stupid.
[ Which, in this context, is more than her telling him to go to hell for saying such a thing; it's a warning to keep his mouth quiet. The network is closely monitored. Everyone knows that. ]
[He wants to argue. He hadn't agreed to this. To becoming the very thing he'd worked his whole life to eliminate. (Then again, that's happened already, hasn't it? In a far more literal way. The difference is at least he could use his titan shifting to fight back.) He couldn't want anything less than to help the CDC with some kind of industrial conquest, senseless genocide.
But the woman who'd recruited him asked if he'd wanted to fight for humanity.
There's really only one answer he can give to that. No matter what a monster it makes of him.
It's a long time coming. It leaves a bitter and biting taste in his mouth. But eventually—]
FROM: jaeger.eren@cdc.org
sir.
[Humanity is too close to his heart, too overwhelming a priority. He's become what he hates to protect them before. But can he really accept this lying down?]
But the woman who'd recruited him asked if he'd wanted to fight for humanity.
There's really only one answer he can give to that. No matter what a monster it makes of him.
It's a long time coming. It leaves a bitter and biting taste in his mouth. But eventually—]
FROM: jaeger.eren@cdc.org
sir.
[Humanity is too close to his heart, too overwhelming a priority. He's become what he hates to protect them before. But can he really accept this lying down?]
[ Provided they live that long.
He's a little surprised that Eren would mention Reiner as well, but he sets aside the mixed feelings for now. The odd, tense sentiment it brings can wait. ]
FROM: kirstein.jean@cdc.org
Marco and Sasha are okay too
[ So, as unlikely as it is— ]
FROM: kirstein.jean@cdc.org
Looks like we all made it
He's a little surprised that Eren would mention Reiner as well, but he sets aside the mixed feelings for now. The odd, tense sentiment it brings can wait. ]
FROM: kirstein.jean@cdc.org
Marco and Sasha are okay too
[ So, as unlikely as it is— ]
FROM: kirstein.jean@cdc.org
Looks like we all made it
[Ah Eren, this is what you get for letting your superior officers get away with whatever they want.
But no, she'll pull away soon enough, wasting no time looking him over properly while she answers his question.]
I fired off messages to everyone but you're one of the first who responded. It doesn't seem like everyone reached camp yet, but I'm sure that'll change within the next few hours.
[Honestly, she's hardly worried. Despite the hardships her own group has faced over the course of the week, barely anyone reached a point where issuing a medical emergency was a necessity. Hange can only assume that'll be the case for anyone else, though one can never be too sure.]
Anyway, how about you have a seat and we can get started?
But no, she'll pull away soon enough, wasting no time looking him over properly while she answers his question.]
I fired off messages to everyone but you're one of the first who responded. It doesn't seem like everyone reached camp yet, but I'm sure that'll change within the next few hours.
[Honestly, she's hardly worried. Despite the hardships her own group has faced over the course of the week, barely anyone reached a point where issuing a medical emergency was a necessity. Hange can only assume that'll be the case for anyone else, though one can never be too sure.]
Anyway, how about you have a seat and we can get started?
[Yeah lets. Not.
It is—almost universally—good news. And because he's spoken to Mikasa about her drop but not Hange—]
FROM: jaeger.eren@cdc.org
where'd you end up
It is—almost universally—good news. And because he's spoken to Mikasa about her drop but not Hange—]
FROM: jaeger.eren@cdc.org
where'd you end up
[Look if he can stay up all night listening to her talk about titans he can put up with a little invasion of his personal space.
And invading his personal space is...basically her job, right now. Obligingly, he sits down on a cot so she can get on with it.]
They dropped us a lot father away, this time.
[People had come into the Ajna rendezvous in dribs and drabs, and they hadn't had to walk as far. It's no surprise people are still working their way through the dense forests. (What the hell's the point?)]
And invading his personal space is...basically her job, right now. Obligingly, he sits down on a cot so she can get on with it.]
They dropped us a lot father away, this time.
[People had come into the Ajna rendezvous in dribs and drabs, and they hadn't had to walk as far. It's no surprise people are still working their way through the dense forests. (What the hell's the point?)]
[The problem is, he is consistently angry with the situation. He doesn't know how to be anything less.
But this is not the only reminder he's getting, today. That it's not about him.
An answer is a while in coming. Then.]
FROM: jaeger.eren@cdc.org
sir.
[Stay alive. Protect the crew. Get stronger. (Get home.) There are too many lives hinging on him. Too many given up already so that he can keep fighting. (And is he supposed to chalk the Neraki up to that as well? There's a world of difference.)
He can't accept this as a defeat. He can't find a way out of it on his own.]
FROM: jaeger.eren@cdc.org
then what do we do
But this is not the only reminder he's getting, today. That it's not about him.
An answer is a while in coming. Then.]
FROM: jaeger.eren@cdc.org
sir.
[Stay alive. Protect the crew. Get stronger. (Get home.) There are too many lives hinging on him. Too many given up already so that he can keep fighting. (And is he supposed to chalk the Neraki up to that as well? There's a world of difference.)
He can't accept this as a defeat. He can't find a way out of it on his own.]
FROM: jaeger.eren@cdc.org
then what do we do
all the icons nu made for me and i end up repeating two of them .... god
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
imperatives
2015-02-17 09:33 am (UTC)(link)
You're a soldier of humanity, Eren. You know what you have to do.
But it bears reminding now and then, that from where the Survey Corps is standing in this organization, we have a lot to lose.
Until a better solution presents itself, a careful compromise has to be made between your morals and the situation at hand.
In time, perhaps history will remember us as the most ruthless soldiers of humanity, willing to kill to protect what we value the most. Is that the right way of doing it? Is it the wrong way?
I can't tell you that. I doubt anyone can give you the assurances you need. But I will say this: from the time I've been a trainee to the time I've become Commander, hundreds and thousands of people have died
in an attempt to save humanity.
I will not allow anyone to add more to that number. And none of us will, or should.
[whether it be intergalactic organizations pissed off at their performances or not.]
But it bears reminding now and then, that from where the Survey Corps is standing in this organization, we have a lot to lose.
Until a better solution presents itself, a careful compromise has to be made between your morals and the situation at hand.
In time, perhaps history will remember us as the most ruthless soldiers of humanity, willing to kill to protect what we value the most. Is that the right way of doing it? Is it the wrong way?
I can't tell you that. I doubt anyone can give you the assurances you need. But I will say this: from the time I've been a trainee to the time I've become Commander, hundreds and thousands of people have died
in an attempt to save humanity.
I will not allow anyone to add more to that number. And none of us will, or should.
[whether it be intergalactic organizations pissed off at their performances or not.]
Edited (erwin smith, enemy of character limits everywhere) 2015-02-17 09:41 (UTC)
You're right. At least ten times further, if I'm not mistaken. [Hange muses, and it's something she's mused during her entire trip to the rendezvous point.]
There could be a few reasons for that. It's certainly helped us familiarize ourselves with the terrain more easily, though if we'll be out mapping the world like Ajna one has to wonder why they didn't just drop us all in one spot and allowed us to branch out in order to conserve supplies? Faulty targeting system maybe? Or perhaps they're just sadists.
[She wouldn't be too surprised either way, but enough about that.]
Anyway, state your full name and military affiliation.
There could be a few reasons for that. It's certainly helped us familiarize ourselves with the terrain more easily, though if we'll be out mapping the world like Ajna one has to wonder why they didn't just drop us all in one spot and allowed us to branch out in order to conserve supplies? Faulty targeting system maybe? Or perhaps they're just sadists.
[She wouldn't be too surprised either way, but enough about that.]
Anyway, state your full name and military affiliation.
[The scowl that Eren settles into as she muses on the possible reasons the CDC would have for dumping them so far from each other makes it pretty clear where on that spectrum his opinion falls. (Pretty heavily toward the unfavorable, for the record.) But she presses on, and, obediently—]
Eren Jaeger, Survey Corps.
[He's been on his feet for days, fought his way through kilometers of alien wilderness. Months and months removed from their home and their usual context. His shoulders still set straighter when he says it.]
Eren Jaeger, Survey Corps.
[He's been on his feet for days, fought his way through kilometers of alien wilderness. Months and months removed from their home and their usual context. His shoulders still set straighter when he says it.]
[ So apparently there is a point of diminishing returns for beating idiots who don't fight back, because it doesn't feel quite as satisfying anymore. Good news for Eren is that she's stopping chucking things at him.
Bad news is that she's still shrieking. ]
Ugh, I swear! You can't just say things like that, you know—it's obvious I was kissing you, idiot! Just shut up and appreciate it!
[ Who is she yelling at here really... because it's probably not Eren. ]
Bad news is that she's still shrieking. ]
Ugh, I swear! You can't just say things like that, you know—it's obvious I was kissing you, idiot! Just shut up and appreciate it!
[ Who is she yelling at here really... because it's probably not Eren. ]
[Ah, yes. She's totally losing it. If she were doing anything more serious than shrieking and throwing shit at him, he'd be more proactive about retaliation. But she even stops the latter, soon enough, so he just...matches her volume. And her indignation.
Contrary to popular belief, Eren is in fact aware of teenaged relationships being a thing. (For all it, y'know, ended poorly for Franz and Hannah.) That doesn't make him any less confused.]
Why the hell would I appreciate that?
[Charming. This is an honest question!]
Contrary to popular belief, Eren is in fact aware of teenaged relationships being a thing. (For all it, y'know, ended poorly for Franz and Hannah.) That doesn't make him any less confused.]
Why the hell would I appreciate that?
[Charming. This is an honest question!]
[While Eren's presence is one she always enjoys, Hange's gaze can't help but soften briefly over her subordinate's answer. Sometimes it's really the little things that matter the most.
Of course, she hasn't forgotten why she's called Eren over in the first place, which is why it doesn't take long before she's walking up to him and tapping at the bottom of his chin lightly in a silent request to have him look up.]
Follow my finger with your eyes and don't move your head. [With that she'll step back and draw an infinity sign in the air, taking her time so that she can catch any more minute issues.]
Are there any specific areas where you're feeling pain?
Of course, she hasn't forgotten why she's called Eren over in the first place, which is why it doesn't take long before she's walking up to him and tapping at the bottom of his chin lightly in a silent request to have him look up.]
Follow my finger with your eyes and don't move your head. [With that she'll step back and draw an infinity sign in the air, taking her time so that she can catch any more minute issues.]
Are there any specific areas where you're feeling pain?
[They've probably done this sort of thing a dozen times before. Or something similar enough. Checking his reactions and his vitals after he shifts. He lifts his chin when she tells him to, follows the path of her finger as it traces a figure eight through the air. And he remembers to stop himself short of shaking his head "no" to answer.]
I'm not hurt, ma'am.
[After the butterflies and the spear-throwing natives, it had just been a hell of a lot of walking.]
I'm not hurt, ma'am.
[After the butterflies and the spear-throwing natives, it had just been a hell of a lot of walking.]
Page 30 of 46