[ Now now Eren, don't be like that. He can hear you grinding your teeth from here. ]
FROM: 11.november@cdc.org
Of course.
FROM: 11.november@cdc.org
Of course.
[Nah, Greed is absolutely an asshole. Recognizing this is proof of sentience or something.]
FROM: lanfan@cdc.org
I have spoken with him. He is just being stubborn about telling me his location.
FROM: lanfan@cdc.org
I believe at this point I may need to find a different partner.
FROM: lanfan@cdc.org
I have spoken with him. He is just being stubborn about telling me his location.
FROM: lanfan@cdc.org
I believe at this point I may need to find a different partner.
FROM: uchiha.itachi@cdc.org
I will not work alone.
Warriorhead. Our commander, yes? Am I required to report to them, as well?
[And that's an order he understands -- and it pleases him, to an extent. He's never been one to question orders, no matter his feelings on the matter, but it feels like Eren is making the correct choice here.]
FROM: uchiha.itachi@cdc.org
Understood. I will do everything in my power to prevent further casualties.
[He means it, for whatever it's worth.]
I will not work alone.
Warriorhead. Our commander, yes? Am I required to report to them, as well?
[And that's an order he understands -- and it pleases him, to an extent. He's never been one to question orders, no matter his feelings on the matter, but it feels like Eren is making the correct choice here.]
FROM: uchiha.itachi@cdc.org
Understood. I will do everything in my power to prevent further casualties.
[He means it, for whatever it's worth.]
[He hadn't known what to expect. There were no clues to grasp at, there was no foreshadowing, no red flag. He hadn't known what to expect, but it certainly wasn't this.]
I don't understand... Reiner is-- He's our classmate, he's a soldier. He couldn't have-- [Caused the grisly deaths of hundreds of thousands of people. So much blood on his hands. Reiner, who had been so kind and warm, always looking out for the rest of them, always going out of his way to help where he saw it was needed.
He can't be a Titan. He can't be with the enemy of humanity. Marco had thought it unbelievable that Eren could transform into a Titan, until he saw it with his own eyes. But that was supposed to be the result of classified military experimentation (so they'd been told, and so he believes, because what else should he do?). That was supposed to be for humanity's sake. This...
He doesn't know.]
We were just kids, when Wall Maria fell.
[They had been children, and they'd become soldiers. Such terrible atrocities don't fit in the definition of either. Piper is around - Jean had left her to watch over Marco while he was busy in Med Bay. The bahari edges closer to where they stand, perhaps sensing that something is off, although she remains silent in her watchfulness.]
I don't understand... Reiner is-- He's our classmate, he's a soldier. He couldn't have-- [Caused the grisly deaths of hundreds of thousands of people. So much blood on his hands. Reiner, who had been so kind and warm, always looking out for the rest of them, always going out of his way to help where he saw it was needed.
He can't be a Titan. He can't be with the enemy of humanity. Marco had thought it unbelievable that Eren could transform into a Titan, until he saw it with his own eyes. But that was supposed to be the result of classified military experimentation (so they'd been told, and so he believes, because what else should he do?). That was supposed to be for humanity's sake. This...
He doesn't know.]
We were just kids, when Wall Maria fell.
[They had been children, and they'd become soldiers. Such terrible atrocities don't fit in the definition of either. Piper is around - Jean had left her to watch over Marco while he was busy in Med Bay. The bahari edges closer to where they stand, perhaps sensing that something is off, although she remains silent in her watchfulness.]
[Ah, that kind of asshole. Annoying, but not their biggest problem right now. There's a pause of a minute or so while he weighs what options they have as well as he is able.]
FROM: jaeger.eren@cdc.org
can you find room 006?
[Easier than tracking each other down in the crowded chaos of the clusterfuck in the ship.]
FROM: jaeger.eren@cdc.org
can you find room 006?
[Easier than tracking each other down in the crowded chaos of the clusterfuck in the ship.]
[Ah, well then. He's lived with November for months so he's pretty unruffled by the messenger, at least. If a bit less professional than he probably ought to be.]
FROM: jaeger.eren@cdc.org
what the hell's the point of keeping your CO quiet
[WHY THE RUNAROUND....Red Team why are you making this so complicated, Covert Ops is so dumb.]
FROM: jaeger.eren@cdc.org
what the hell's the point of keeping your CO quiet
[WHY THE RUNAROUND....Red Team why are you making this so complicated, Covert Ops is so dumb.]
FROM: lanfan@cdc.org
Yes. My own room is 3.
FROM: lanfan@cdc.org
The ship is large, but I can find my way back there.
Yes. My own room is 3.
FROM: lanfan@cdc.org
The ship is large, but I can find my way back there.
[ They're meant to be patrolling the ship, stalking down corridors and keeping their attention on high alert to ensure that they're prepared for any possible attack. Recruits have died, fallen against a threat that even their instructors are unable to keep up with, and it's almost certain that more will follow unless those remaining take action. So, they're meant to be outside, on the field (this ship isn't supposed to be a battlefield), ready to protect.
But the hours have grown long. It's one of the problems with being human: the need to eat and rest is inescapable, and as devoted as Mikasa is, she's not stubborn enough to pretend that she can do without either. Which is why she finds herself stepping back inside their room after notifying the others of her rest break, tired eyes moving over the interior, hoping to find—no one. She's barely even disappointed, because it's not unusual for Eren to be out, pushing himself needlessly into the thick of things, ignoring his own humanity.
More often than not, they don't fight side by side anymore.
It's something that she's been forced to accept, and the weight of that acceptance lingers over her limbs as she carefully removes her gear, remaining in her uniform otherwise and opting to shower later, maybe after eating. Her gear and guns set aside neatly, she eyes her bed for a moment, but eventually draws away to sit down on Eren's instead.
She's tired. And he's not here, but even if he arrived after she'd settled for a nap, she knows that he wouldn't disturb her. Instead, he'd let them pass each other silently (as she would, herself, because she wouldn't pull him from precious rest either), and they'd remain separate. But that's not something she wants, even if maintaining her post on his bed isn't as comfortable as lying down on her own, she sits there nonetheless, eyes barely open but still awake, waiting in the empty room. ]
But the hours have grown long. It's one of the problems with being human: the need to eat and rest is inescapable, and as devoted as Mikasa is, she's not stubborn enough to pretend that she can do without either. Which is why she finds herself stepping back inside their room after notifying the others of her rest break, tired eyes moving over the interior, hoping to find—no one. She's barely even disappointed, because it's not unusual for Eren to be out, pushing himself needlessly into the thick of things, ignoring his own humanity.
More often than not, they don't fight side by side anymore.
It's something that she's been forced to accept, and the weight of that acceptance lingers over her limbs as she carefully removes her gear, remaining in her uniform otherwise and opting to shower later, maybe after eating. Her gear and guns set aside neatly, she eyes her bed for a moment, but eventually draws away to sit down on Eren's instead.
She's tired. And he's not here, but even if he arrived after she'd settled for a nap, she knows that he wouldn't disturb her. Instead, he'd let them pass each other silently (as she would, herself, because she wouldn't pull him from precious rest either), and they'd remain separate. But that's not something she wants, even if maintaining her post on his bed isn't as comfortable as lying down on her own, she sits there nonetheless, eyes barely open but still awake, waiting in the empty room. ]
Edited 2014-12-17 06:49 (UTC)
[Okay, that'll work.]
FROM: jaeger.eren@cdc.org
track 006 down, let me know if you can't find it. I'll be outside.
[And good on his word, he's waiting there when she finds it. Leaning on the hull of the ship near the door and frowning intently down at the growing walls of urgent text on his blackglass. Looking for all the world like some skinny teenaged punk kid were it not for the grim set to his mouth, the serious expression on his face. Still, maybe not exactly what one would expect, if they were on the lookout for a team leader.]
FROM: jaeger.eren@cdc.org
track 006 down, let me know if you can't find it. I'll be outside.
[And good on his word, he's waiting there when she finds it. Leaning on the hull of the ship near the door and frowning intently down at the growing walls of urgent text on his blackglass. Looking for all the world like some skinny teenaged punk kid were it not for the grim set to his mouth, the serious expression on his face. Still, maybe not exactly what one would expect, if they were on the lookout for a team leader.]
[To her credit she really doesn't take long to find Eren, though Lan Fan only actually appears once she's about twenty feet away from him. There aren't exactly a whole lot of other people around, and he is waiting outside the correct room, so...]
[She's probably just as odd a sight as Eren is himself, all in black except for that damned mask and her arm. It's hard to tell her expression, of course, but all of her body language is stiff formality and alertness as she approaches him and bows in greeting.] You are Eren Jaeger?
[She's probably just as odd a sight as Eren is himself, all in black except for that damned mask and her arm. It's hard to tell her expression, of course, but all of her body language is stiff formality and alertness as she approaches him and bows in greeting.] You are Eren Jaeger?
FROM: jaeger.eren@cdc.org
Yes, ma'am, I will.
[Ah, grades, amazing. But he'll do his best. As soon as anything of note reaches him, he'll forward it to Hange after sending it to Parker and the others.
And, after a pause—because he's even more out of his element with murder mysteries than he thought he'd be when he was first given this assignment—]
FROM: jaeger.eren@cdc.org
Do you have any advice so far?
[Because his M/O with murderers and missing persons is pretty much to stop what he's doing to hunt them down and take care of the matter himself, but that's not really applicable right now, when the murderer is hidden and the missing have vanished without a trace. What would you do, Squad Leader?]
Yes, ma'am, I will.
[Ah, grades, amazing. But he'll do his best. As soon as anything of note reaches him, he'll forward it to Hange after sending it to Parker and the others.
And, after a pause—because he's even more out of his element with murder mysteries than he thought he'd be when he was first given this assignment—]
FROM: jaeger.eren@cdc.org
Do you have any advice so far?
[Because his M/O with murderers and missing persons is pretty much to stop what he's doing to hunt them down and take care of the matter himself, but that's not really applicable right now, when the murderer is hidden and the missing have vanished without a trace. What would you do, Squad Leader?]
FROM: jaeger.eren@cdc.org
the ship isn't that big. it can't hide in here forever.
[But the sooner, the better, because she's not wrong. If people start to panic, things will only get worse. As headstrong as he can be about most things, he's open to following her lead on this right now. Hidden enemies and Scooby-Doo mysteries are a little beyond him. (The titans come to you, seek groups of people out like a homing missile, there was never any need to train them for detective work, it'll be recon of a sort he hasn't really had experience with.) This isn't the sort of battle he's used to fighting.]
FROM: jaeger.eren@cdc.org
we know it's here now. long as people don't get complacent it shouldn't get the drop on us again
the ship isn't that big. it can't hide in here forever.
[But the sooner, the better, because she's not wrong. If people start to panic, things will only get worse. As headstrong as he can be about most things, he's open to following her lead on this right now. Hidden enemies and Scooby-Doo mysteries are a little beyond him. (The titans come to you, seek groups of people out like a homing missile, there was never any need to train them for detective work, it'll be recon of a sort he hasn't really had experience with.) This isn't the sort of battle he's used to fighting.]
FROM: jaeger.eren@cdc.org
we know it's here now. long as people don't get complacent it shouldn't get the drop on us again
[You're alright, Itachi.
Warriorhead is...a strange subject. Eren had come in hating the instructors, but it's been a long several months, and things have changed a little. It's still hard to trust them, but there's some grey area to account for. Most of it, he's learning to play a little closer to the chest. Still, honestly—]
FROM: jaeger.eren@cdc.org
Instructor, not Commander.
[There's a small but important difference there. One he hasn't put a ton of thought into, because he's military, and he views the CDC in a military way, but he hasn't intended on giving his loyalty over in the least. (It does beg the question, why "Instructor," though WH's been pretty firm in trying to teach, so maybe it's not a question at all.)]
FROM: jaeger.eren@cdc.org
he's the head of Orange Unit
you can try getting hold of him if you want, but Parker and I will pass on any orders
[Eren hasn't bothered with much of the frantic texting going on. He's too slow with it to bother keeping up. He's better use concentrating on the footwork. Most of them are, as far as he's concerned. So on that note—]
FROM: jaeger.eren@cdc.org
if the instructors give a damn about the crew they'll be busy hunting this thing down too
Warriorhead is...a strange subject. Eren had come in hating the instructors, but it's been a long several months, and things have changed a little. It's still hard to trust them, but there's some grey area to account for. Most of it, he's learning to play a little closer to the chest. Still, honestly—]
FROM: jaeger.eren@cdc.org
Instructor, not Commander.
[There's a small but important difference there. One he hasn't put a ton of thought into, because he's military, and he views the CDC in a military way, but he hasn't intended on giving his loyalty over in the least. (It does beg the question, why "Instructor," though WH's been pretty firm in trying to teach, so maybe it's not a question at all.)]
FROM: jaeger.eren@cdc.org
he's the head of Orange Unit
you can try getting hold of him if you want, but Parker and I will pass on any orders
[Eren hasn't bothered with much of the frantic texting going on. He's too slow with it to bother keeping up. He's better use concentrating on the footwork. Most of them are, as far as he's concerned. So on that note—]
FROM: jaeger.eren@cdc.org
if the instructors give a damn about the crew they'll be busy hunting this thing down too
FROM: uchiha.itachi@cdc.org
I'm not certain I understand the distinction yet, but I will keep that in mind.
[It's not that he's attempting to question authority, only that he is an extremely cautious individual looking to understand the chain of command. Endangering his home out of ignorance is something he's terribly keen to avoid.]
FROM: uchiha.itachi@cdc.org
It sounds unnecessary. There is no value in distractions, particularly at this time.
Good luck, sir. Please keep me updated if you have anything else.
[And isn't that an interesting observation? It gives him a little bit of insight into Eren, a sense of new relief when it comes to his own unit leader -- and a bit of apprehension when it comes to these 'instructors'. He'd thought concern would be a given.]
I'm not certain I understand the distinction yet, but I will keep that in mind.
[It's not that he's attempting to question authority, only that he is an extremely cautious individual looking to understand the chain of command. Endangering his home out of ignorance is something he's terribly keen to avoid.]
FROM: uchiha.itachi@cdc.org
It sounds unnecessary. There is no value in distractions, particularly at this time.
Good luck, sir. Please keep me updated if you have anything else.
[And isn't that an interesting observation? It gives him a little bit of insight into Eren, a sense of new relief when it comes to his own unit leader -- and a bit of apprehension when it comes to these 'instructors'. He'd thought concern would be a given.]
[ If it's any consolation, he doesn't feel like much of a winner right now.
He could offer something a little deeper here, or a little emptier ('we can look for him later' or 'i'm sure he'll turn up'), but instead he just goes with: ]
FROM: kirstein.jean@cdc.org
goddammit
He could offer something a little deeper here, or a little emptier ('we can look for him later' or 'i'm sure he'll turn up'), but instead he just goes with: ]
FROM: kirstein.jean@cdc.org
goddammit
FROM: parker@cdc.org
info will get to everyone under blue's directives, im sure.
FROM: parker@cdc.org
you'd be surprised how well someone can hide in a small space. [ Take it from a rebel that hid for many years in a small space underneath the city and travelled through abandoned railways of the subway. ]
FROM: parker@cdc.org
don't jinx it
info will get to everyone under blue's directives, im sure.
FROM: parker@cdc.org
you'd be surprised how well someone can hide in a small space. [ Take it from a rebel that hid for many years in a small space underneath the city and travelled through abandoned railways of the subway. ]
FROM: parker@cdc.org
don't jinx it
Edited 2014-12-14 12:55 (UTC)
[(He takes a few seconds to stare blankly at that "sir." Ah, this is weird.)]
FROM: jaeger.eren@cdc.org
yeah. you too
[Eren's military, but the CDC chain of command isn't quite the one he's used to. (Already the policies and politics of who's talking to who are starting to chafe.) The newbies have it the worst, really. Getting dropped here in the middle of a logistical clusterfuck isn't quite the same as getting dropped on Ajna to an angry alien attack. So, as helpfully as he's able—]
FROM: jaeger.eren@cdc.org
Instructors head up the teams. Closest thing to a commander they've got is Gliese. She's captain. no word on any of the rest of the CDC's higher ups.
[The Neheda is a small part of a bigger monster, but the real people in charge are a mystery. And there's a lot he'd like to say about them but it's really not the time or the place.
Mostly, the instructors on the Neheda are a bunch of mercurial weirdoes. Strange and silly at times, outright threatening at others. He'd come in hating them, but it's cooled a bit over time. In frustrated and confused conversations and weird warnings, in Warriorhead's case. It's still been the work of seven months or so. Still, trusting them is hard.]
FROM: jaeger.eren@cdc.org
yeah. you too
[Eren's military, but the CDC chain of command isn't quite the one he's used to. (Already the policies and politics of who's talking to who are starting to chafe.) The newbies have it the worst, really. Getting dropped here in the middle of a logistical clusterfuck isn't quite the same as getting dropped on Ajna to an angry alien attack. So, as helpfully as he's able—]
FROM: jaeger.eren@cdc.org
Instructors head up the teams. Closest thing to a commander they've got is Gliese. She's captain. no word on any of the rest of the CDC's higher ups.
[The Neheda is a small part of a bigger monster, but the real people in charge are a mystery. And there's a lot he'd like to say about them but it's really not the time or the place.
Mostly, the instructors on the Neheda are a bunch of mercurial weirdoes. Strange and silly at times, outright threatening at others. He'd come in hating them, but it's cooled a bit over time. In frustrated and confused conversations and weird warnings, in Warriorhead's case. It's still been the work of seven months or so. Still, trusting them is hard.]
Edited (ah, 6am html + nitpicks I'm never morning tagging again) 2014-12-16 11:39 (UTC)
[That's indeed sort of weird. (Red got all the ninjas before.) When she approaches, he lifts his head to frown over at her instead of down at the grim information they're being passed. But he relaxes into something less severe and just shy of baffled when she bows.]
Yeah. Lan Fan, right?
[He probably basically butchers the pronunciation of her name. He'll ask about the mask in a second.]
Yeah. Lan Fan, right?
[He probably basically butchers the pronunciation of her name. He'll ask about the mask in a second.]
[Her wince is mostly hidden, but she does grimace a little before replying.] I am Lan Fan, yes. You had orders for me?
[She's...trying, really. She's more used to taking orders from Ling or Fu, whom she was intimately familiar with, than some stranger she had never met before in her life. She's not quite sure how she's supposed to interact with her superiors here, especially with how many of the recruits seem to toss respect for them to the wayside (at least to her eyes).]
[She's...trying, really. She's more used to taking orders from Ling or Fu, whom she was intimately familiar with, than some stranger she had never met before in her life. She's not quite sure how she's supposed to interact with her superiors here, especially with how many of the recruits seem to toss respect for them to the wayside (at least to her eyes).]
[Sorry, Eren. Better to be too respectful, than not respectful enough, given the circumstances.]
FROM: uchiha.itachi@cdc.org
Understood. I suppose that's not terribly surprising. We have no need to know.
[At least that's what it seems like to him. It doesn't really matter, in the end; he has his mission, the one they've resurrected him to perform. Despite his curiosity, he recognizes that this likely isn't the appropriate time for an endless stream of questions.]
FROM: uchiha.itachi@cdc.org
Thank you for your time. I hope my next report is more favorable for us all.
FROM: uchiha.itachi@cdc.org
Understood. I suppose that's not terribly surprising. We have no need to know.
[At least that's what it seems like to him. It doesn't really matter, in the end; he has his mission, the one they've resurrected him to perform. Despite his curiosity, he recognizes that this likely isn't the appropriate time for an endless stream of questions.]
FROM: uchiha.itachi@cdc.org
Thank you for your time. I hope my next report is more favorable for us all.
oh my god I was so redundant, I'm really never morning tagging again
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
counterattacked
2014-12-18 02:48 am (UTC)(link)
[It's not Itatchi's fault he's somehow moving up the ranks in a company he actively (and obviously) despises. (????) It's just. Weird. Fifteen year old bottom-of-the-Corps-heap assholes don't get called "sir" where he's from. (But this isn't the Corps, either.)]
FROM: jaeger.eren@cdc.org
They can't hide forever.
[They have no need to know as far as the CDC's concerned. It still matters. They can't just kidnap people and blackmail them and get away with it forever. It matters. But they have more immediate—if smaller—enemies to deal with today.]
FROM: jaeger.eren@cdc.org
don't die and I'll see you around.
[And he means it. Don't die. You're alright Itachi. He'll see you around.]
FROM: jaeger.eren@cdc.org
They can't hide forever.
[They have no need to know as far as the CDC's concerned. It still matters. They can't just kidnap people and blackmail them and get away with it forever. It matters. But they have more immediate—if smaller—enemies to deal with today.]
FROM: jaeger.eren@cdc.org
don't die and I'll see you around.
[And he means it. Don't die. You're alright Itachi. He'll see you around.]
[He could have. He did. Eren knows what it feels like to want to deny it. He'd done the same when they'd suspected Annie, when he'd first been told about Reiner and Bertolt. It's selfish, to hold onto it, to deny the truth when it's been proven and tested. They can't afford that. Not anymore. Not ever.
It's easy to forget that Marco's working off outdated information. That Pixis's white lie to the troops in Trost about Eren's powers would still hold this far away and this far removed from its context. ]
I know that. I saw him in Shiganshina. [The Armored Titan. And Marco knows that, but he says it anyway. His hands ball into fists, and Piper's hackles pick up at the tension in him. (She never liked loudmouthed teenaged boys much, even if she's come a long way from pouncing Eren into the snow.)] I saw him here.
[Reiner. The Armored Titan. Not here, but on Ajna. And it had taken every bit of self control and every ounce of Armin's reason to keep him from trying to kill him.]
It's easy to forget that Marco's working off outdated information. That Pixis's white lie to the troops in Trost about Eren's powers would still hold this far away and this far removed from its context. ]
I know that. I saw him in Shiganshina. [The Armored Titan. And Marco knows that, but he says it anyway. His hands ball into fists, and Piper's hackles pick up at the tension in him. (She never liked loudmouthed teenaged boys much, even if she's come a long way from pouncing Eren into the snow.)] I saw him here.
[Reiner. The Armored Titan. Not here, but on Ajna. And it had taken every bit of self control and every ounce of Armin's reason to keep him from trying to kill him.]
[Sorry, Lan Fan, he speaks postapocalpytic maybe-German and all he had to go off was the text, his accent's gonna be horrific. For all he's familiar with the chain of command, he doesn't expect Lan Fan to trust him or respect the CDC's ranks as a matter of course. He wouldn't. But she's here, and they need the help, and that's something.]
Yeah. Parker's still trying to track down whatever did this. Jean sent over a list of people who've gone missing. [He gestures with his blackglass, as if to punctuate it.]
It's not that big a ship.
[They're gonna track them down.]
Yeah. Parker's still trying to track down whatever did this. Jean sent over a list of people who've gone missing. [He gestures with his blackglass, as if to punctuate it.]
It's not that big a ship.
[They're gonna track them down.]
[It had seemed like a good idea at the time. Take a break from the endlessly frustrating nowhere they're getting with hunting this murderous thing down. Stretch his legs and blow off some steam with some sort of training exercise.
Like most of his good ideas, it was actually a pretty shit idea in practice. And it wasn't real, but it had felt it, at the time. Still took it out of him the same as the real thing would. Still sends phantom-pain echoes up his spine, down to his fingertips, his dragging feet. (Still settles angry and bitter in his blood, an aimless battle cry collecting in his chest, growing stale and sour on his tongue, and—)
Forcing himself through the halls while there's a murder monster on the loose is probably also a pretty shit idea, but it doesn't occur to him until it's too late, and he's too damn stubborn to turn back. He expects the room to be empty when he finally reaches it. It isn't, and he stops in the doorway when he sees her. Stares in a blindsided sort of way for several seconds too long. (Eyes a little too wide, face a little too pale. Not quite like he's seen a ghost but maybe like he's seeing something else.) And then he shoves himself away from the doorframe to cross the short distance to his bunk. Drops heavily and wordlessly down beside her on the edge of it to lean into her. Shoulders tense and trembling with fatigue, (with anger, with—) teeth grit, knuckles white.]
Like most of his good ideas, it was actually a pretty shit idea in practice. And it wasn't real, but it had felt it, at the time. Still took it out of him the same as the real thing would. Still sends phantom-pain echoes up his spine, down to his fingertips, his dragging feet. (Still settles angry and bitter in his blood, an aimless battle cry collecting in his chest, growing stale and sour on his tongue, and—)
Forcing himself through the halls while there's a murder monster on the loose is probably also a pretty shit idea, but it doesn't occur to him until it's too late, and he's too damn stubborn to turn back. He expects the room to be empty when he finally reaches it. It isn't, and he stops in the doorway when he sees her. Stares in a blindsided sort of way for several seconds too long. (Eyes a little too wide, face a little too pale. Not quite like he's seen a ghost but maybe like he's seeing something else.) And then he shoves himself away from the doorframe to cross the short distance to his bunk. Drops heavily and wordlessly down beside her on the edge of it to lean into her. Shoulders tense and trembling with fatigue, (with anger, with—) teeth grit, knuckles white.]
[ Her eyes snap to attention when the door opens, though she doesn't jump or move otherwise. She doesn't need to. Doesn't need to be tense about how her guard had dropped; that an attack could've fallen down against her unguarded nape, because Eren is standing at the door. He looks wrong. There's something wrong about his expression, something along the lines of the horror and frustration that she doesn't like to see, but she remains absolutely still as he crosses the space of their room to settle down beside her.
She can't help him. There's a disconnect between their ideals, and it had never bothered her too deeply before because it didn't matter—they were still bound together by blood and monster instinct. But ever since Eren shifted to make his commitment to the Corps real, she'd realized something, slow and sinking: she doesn't understand. She's quiet because she doesn't know what to say. Everything that she had said, said to that simulation hadn't worked, she doesn't understand him. She can't reach him, reason with him like Armin can, and she's scared about what that means for them both.
It's her relationship with Eren on the line, giving in to hopelessness isn't an option, but even as she opts to speak she knows that he'll only grow agitated with her because ] Eren, you should rest.
[ And she doesn't mind saying things that he doesn't want to hear, because his focus can be so narrow sometimes, someone needs to shove him down a branching path but. She doesn't want that to be the reason that he draws away; that he puts a distance between them (he would never), because it's inevitable. She doesn't understand, so what good are his thoughts voiced to her. ]
She can't help him. There's a disconnect between their ideals, and it had never bothered her too deeply before because it didn't matter—they were still bound together by blood and monster instinct. But ever since Eren shifted to make his commitment to the Corps real, she'd realized something, slow and sinking: she doesn't understand. She's quiet because she doesn't know what to say. Everything that she had said, said to that simulation hadn't worked, she doesn't understand him. She can't reach him, reason with him like Armin can, and she's scared about what that means for them both.
It's her relationship with Eren on the line, giving in to hopelessness isn't an option, but even as she opts to speak she knows that he'll only grow agitated with her because ] Eren, you should rest.
[ And she doesn't mind saying things that he doesn't want to hear, because his focus can be so narrow sometimes, someone needs to shove him down a branching path but. She doesn't want that to be the reason that he draws away; that he puts a distance between them (he would never), because it's inevitable. She doesn't understand, so what good are his thoughts voiced to her. ]
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